


Baby, You Need To Come Home

by aewgliriel



Series: Live Our Lives Out Loud [1]
Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, F/M, Fix-It, Jassian, Kid Fic, M/M, Single Parent Jyn, jyssian
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-24
Updated: 2017-06-14
Packaged: 2018-11-04 09:40:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 32,883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10988304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aewgliriel/pseuds/aewgliriel
Summary: Six years before Cassian Andor and Jyn Erso meet on Yavin 4, Jeron and Tanith have one eventful night. In the aftermath of Scarif and the realisation that Cassian is Jeron, Jyn struggles to confess her most precious secret.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wasn't going to post this until I finished, but I'm alllllllmost done, so I figured I'd go ahead and post the first chapter for Jyn Erso Appreciation Week. Not sure what my posting schedule on this will be. But as I said, I'm almost finished with it, so it should be updated pretty regularly.

_But I think you're so mean, I think we should try_   
_I think I could need this in my life_   
_And I think I'm scared, I think too much_   
_I know it's wrong, it's a problem I'm dealing_

_If you're gone maybe it's time to come home_   
_There's an awful lot of breathing room but I can hardly move_   
_And if you're gone, baby, you need to come home_   
_'Cause there's a little bit of something me in everything in you_

_\-- Matchbox Twenty, "If You're Gone"_

 

**\--Chapter One--**

  
_Vohai_   
_Outer Rim Territories_   
_6 BBY_

The young woman was alone in the back booth, nursing something blue in a glass and twirling the end of her long, brown braid absentmindedly as she stared down at the datapad on the table. Cassian had been watching her for a solid hour, but carefully, just as Draven had taught him.

She wasn't a target. She'd just caught the young man's eye, and he wondered what a girl like her was doing here. To anyone else, she'd seem like she fit right in: older, mended clothes, a blaster on her hip, a scrape across her right cheek that was mostly healed. But something about her was just… different.

It didn't help that the two men behind him were also watching her, discussing the things they thought she'd be good at doing, particularly with her mouth. It took all of his control not to turn around and shoot them. And he hadn't even spoken to her yet.

Finally, he picked up his drink and moved across the bar, sliding unceremoniously into the opposite side of her booth, setting his lomin ale down as he did.

She looked up, green eyes wide in surprise, her hand going for her blaster. Cassian held up his hands.

“Hey, no need for that. I just wanted to warn you that those two thugs by the exit have been watching you and planning to, ah, introduce themselves when you leave.”

Her big, green eyes flicked towards the men, studied them for a moment, then back to him. This close, he could see they were flecked with gold. Her face was thin, as if she hadn't been getting enough to eat. He saw that her clothes were shabbier than he'd originally thought. That explained the one drink and why she had on gloves that were on the edge of falling apart. She clearly had little money. The only thing of value he'd say she had on were the stars that dangled from her ears, and even those were cheap metal earrings.

“Thanks,” she said after a moment spent staring at him.

“I'm Jeron,” he said, giving her his middle name instead of the alias he'd been using for this mission.

She hesitated, then allowed, “Tanith.”

He'd bet his blaster that wasn't her real name, either. He didn't care. “What are you doing here by yourself, Tanith?”

She snorted softly and turned off the datapad. “You're not going to go away, are you?”

“Not until they do.”

“I can take care of myself.”

He smirked. “I'm sure.”

Her eyes narrowed. He knew what she saw: long, straight, thin nose; sharp cheekbones and jaw, a narrow chin, almost feminine with his cheeks presently clean-shaven. He also looked younger than his twenty years, which made a lot of people underestimate him. It didn't help that he currently wore his hair nearly to his shoulders, part of his latest mission.

He didn't want to think about the mission. Not until he got back to base and gave his report.

Cassian didn't like killing people. He'd rather spend the evening talking to a pretty girl, biding his time til his transport left for Corellia in the morning.

Tanith looked back to the men by the door, then shrugged. She looked weary. “Fine,” she sighed.

He watched her for another few moments. “Are you hungry?” he asked.

She looked up sharply, warily. “Why?”

Cassian arched a brow. “We might be here a while,” he said. “And I haven't seen you eat the whole time you've been here.”

“You've been watching me?”

“I've been watching everyone. It's more interesting than staring into a glass all night.” He signalled to the serving droid. “Besides, I haven't eaten since yesterday and I'm starving. It would be rude to eat in front of you.”

Tanith hesitated. “I don't have enough credits.”

“My treat,” he said. Cassian wondered what it was about her that brought out a long-dormant urge to protect. He'd think about it later.

The droid came over and he ordered two bantha burgers and fried tuber strips. Belatedly, he asked Tanith, “You eat meat, right?”

This time, she did snort. “You ever eaten womp rat? I have. I'm not picky.”

“No,” he said slowly, “but I've eaten a few other things I'm pretty sure weren't intended for human digestive systems.”

She flashed a quick smile, green eyes sparkling, and looked down at her datapad.

As the night progressed, they started to talk. A lot of it was vague; they both clearly had secrets. But it was nice to have a conversation with someone who wasn't an informant or a target or one of his fellow Rebels.

When Cassian realised that the men weren't leaving any time soon, and that he'd gotten a little more buzzed than intended, he offered to walk her back to her lodging. He didn't have anything with him besides the messenger bag across his lean body, and didn't have a room rented, so it didn't matter where she was staying. He could grab a speeder taxi and be at the spaceport from just about anywhere.

Tanith hesitated again, but this time with a shy, uncertain smile. He got the feeling she didn't talk to people much, and wondered what her real story was.

“Sure,” she said at last. “That would be nice.”

She had a bag of her own, a navy canvas rucksack, and she slipped her datapad and half of Cassian's burger, wrapped in flimsi, into it.

The men followed when they left, which didn't surprise Cassian. It didn't surprise him that they immediately attacked the young pair as soon as they were on the street.

What *did* shock the hells out of him was when Tanith whipped a truncheon out of nowhere and cracked one of the thugs across the face with it.

Cassian's surprise got him a fist in the face courtesy of the second thug. He felt his nose break with a sickening crunch, and for a moment, everything was blinding pain. He hit the ground on one knee, blood spraying from his face. Dazed, he blinked stupidly as Tanith knocked his assailant unconscious.

She crouched beside him. “You alright?”

“I thig so,” he slurred, hands covering his nose. “Ow.”

“So much for protecting me,” she said wryly. “It was a nice gesture, though. Come on. Let's get that taken care of and get you cleaned up.”

Cassian let her help him to his feet. Between the ale and the punch to the face, he was more than a little unsteady. Tanith took his arm and guided him to her rented room, just a few blocks away.

“I get it by the week,” she told him as she unlocked the door. “It isn't the best, but I'm not here long.”

It was one room, with a tiny refresher in what Cassian would have called a closet, and an alcove with a minuscule conservator and a hot plate. There was also a mattress on the floor, sized for one occupant. That was it.

She did, however, have a duffel bag with a basic medkit. It wouldn't fix his nose, but she had pain killers. He'd kept pressure on his nose, despite the pain, and it seemed the bleeding had stopped. His shirt was streaked red, and his hands were sticky with it.

Tanith pointed to the ‘fresher. “Wash up. Cold water on the shirt. Hot water sets it. Not that I have hot water. Well, not for more than about five minutes every few hours.”

“Danks.” He tried to grimace at how he sounded but that hurt his nose and he groaned.

He saw her try to hide a smile. She was concerned, yes, but he understood the humour of it all.

Cassian stepped into the ‘fresher. The shower was basically a pipe sticking out of the wall and a drain in the floor, separated from the toilet and sink by a curtain. The tile floor was chipped, and he had the thought he wouldn't be caught dead barefoot in here. There was no mirror, so he couldn't see the damage. Probably for the best, really.

He washed his face carefully, using a threadbare rag, then rinsed as much of the blood out of his shirt as he could. His whole face felt swollen.

“Good going, Andor,” he told himself under his breath.

Leaving the shirt draped on the edge of the sink, he decided the black pants didn't show much in the way of blood. And he wasn't going to just take them off in Tanith’s refresher.

She looked up from sorting through the medkit when he came out, winced at the sight of him. “Ouch. Come sit down. It won't do a lot, but a bacta patch might help.”

He sat on the edge of the bed, stupidly aware that he was shirtless, and let her carefully apply the strip of bacta-soaked bandage across the bridge of his nose. Then she busied herself with getting him some water and putting the kit away.

Cassian swallowed the pain relievers and let out a pained chuckle. “I feel like an idiot.”

Tanith shook her head. “It was sweet. But I did say I could take care of myself. I have been for a while.”

“Who taught you to fight like that?” he asked. It came out more like, “Oo dodd you do fie lie dad?”

“My fa-” She stopped, cleared her throat. “My adopted father. But he's dead now. I'm on my own.”

“I'm sorry.”

Tanith shrugged her shoulders. “It is what it is.”

She sat beside him, eyes flicking over his bare chest, then up to his face. “Thank you. I'm sorry you got punched, but thank you.”

“I'm normally better at fighting,” he told her. “But his fist was the size of a Star Destroyer.”

She laughed. “It was.”

Then she bit her lip, her gaze dropping to his mouth, bouncing back up. “But thank you. No one’s stood up for me like that before.”

“You're welcome.”

He wanted to kiss her. She probably wasn't the least bit interested, especially with his face looking like he'd run into a durasteel wall. But he wanted to.

“Tanith,” he began, but didn't get any further, because he couldn't speak with her mouth on his.

Okay, then.

The kiss was like a jolt of electricity straight to his toes. He'd kissed women before, but like her, something was just different about this.

She pulled back, gasped, “Sorry, I’ve just been thinking about doing that all night.”

Cassian caught her braid in his hand, the other around the back of her neck, and kissed her. She made a pleased sound and her lips parted.

“I don't even know you,” she said against his mouth. “But… Would you stay?”

“Kriff, yes.”

\-----

He woke to sunlight through a thin curtain and a pounding headache. It took a horrendously long time to remember that he'd been punched in the nose, which was why his face throbbed the way it did. He groaned, shading his eyes as he sat up.

The bed beside him was empty. His pants were on the floor, bag beside them.

“Tanith?”

The ‘fresher door was open. She wasn't there, though he could see his shirt where he'd left it. There weren't any other hiding places, with the bed directly on the floor.

One of her earrings lay on the bed, caught in the sheets. Her duffel and knapsack were gone.

So, he discovered, were his blaster and half his credits.

“I,” he said aloud, “am an idiot.”


	2. Chapter 2

**\--Chapter Two--**

_Scarif_  
_Outer Rim Territories_  
_0 ABY_

“You think anybody is listening?” Cassian asked. He sounded epicly weary, which was no surprise given everything he'd been through that day.

Jyn wrapped her arm tighter around him. His weight was heavy, but she didn't mind. “I do. Someone’s out there.”

At the lift, she pressed the door control. It slid open and she helped Cassian limp inside. There weren't any buttons for floors. It apparently only had two stops: the platform they'd just been on and wherever it let out at the bottom.

She didn't want to die on the platform. The beach sounded better.

Cassian leaned against the wall, never taking his eyes off her. She pressed closer, letting her arm slide up along his shoulder. Jyn wondered what he was thinking.

She didn't want things to end here. She'd fought so hard, survived so much, only to die here, and it was so unfair. Force, she wanted to kiss him. Didn't know if it would be a good idea or a bad one. Did it matter? They were probably going to die soon. There was so much she still had to live for, but she'd made her choices, and the consequence looked like it was going to be death. Jyn had known that in coming here, but still.

He leaned in, his fingers grasping her hip, and Jyn found herself rising on her toes to meet him as his mouth found hers. His lips were a little dry, but the kiss was soft. His mouth against hers seemed oddly familiar, bringing back that sense she'd had for days that she'd known him forever.

It felt right. It felt … like coming home.

The kiss didn't last as long as she'd have liked. Cassian sort of slumped back with a soft groan. Jyn shifted to support him a little more. She didn't let herself wonder what that kiss had meant. Ultimately, it didn't matter. He was clearly fading, near the end of his endurance. She couldn't let him collapse. She couldn't carry him and she wouldn't leave him in the lift.

She reached up to touch the uneven bridge of his nose. He let his eyes flutter closed. “Stay with me,” she murmured. “Talk to me.”

“Mmm.”

“Where are you from? Originally?”

He rocked his head against the wall, just a little. “Fest.”

“Tell me about it.”

“Cold. Snow everywhere. Horrible.”

Jyn chuckled. “How did you break your nose?”

Those chocolate eyes opened, focused on her. “I was escorting a girl home. Jumped by two meatheads. One of them punched me so hard, I saw stars. I was very dashing until my face turned into a fountain of blood.”

There was a sudden rushing sensation in her head as she saw herself in an alley, truncheon in hand, helping a young man to his feet. She froze, couldn't even breathe. That sense she'd had all this time, that she knew him, surged through her. If he shaved the beard… Jyn licked her lips, whispered, “It was on Vohai, wasn't it? Six years ago.”

His eyes widened. “How…?”

She cleared her throat, but it still came out a little strangled. “Hi, Jeron, I'm Tanith.”

Cassian nearly fell over, eyes so wide, there was twice as much white as brown. The lift chose a moment later to shudder to a stop, and Jyn's leg threatened to buckle.

“Tanith,” he repeated. “Tanith Ponta.”

They stared at each other in silence as the lift doors opened.

“We should probably get out,” she said lamely.

Wordlessly, too stunned and exhausted for words, Cassian let Jyn drag him out of the lift. They had to make their way through the citadel, which took all of Jyn's concentration. It was nicely distracting from the revelation in the lift.

His grip on her had tightened a little, though, and he didn't seem like he was drifting as much.

They found their way to the tram back out to pad 9, where they'd landed. The silence now was awkward, but Jyn had no idea what to say. This changed everything, and that half-peace she'd felt on kissing him was gone, replaced by a nauseating twist in her gut.

“I didn't know,” she told him finally, as the tram slowed to a stop. “I didn't-”

It made Eadu’s tragedy even worse in retrospect. Made _this_ and all her regrets so much worse. But she couldn't say it. Instead, what came out was, “I'm sorry I stole your blaster.”

He let out a pained half-laugh. “Which time?”

He had a point, and she smiled weakly.

The doors opened, and there was the sound of a blaster coming up. Jyn threw herself in front of Cassian, and-

“Oh. It's you,” Baze Malbus growled. “Get out of there and on the ship. We don't have much time.”

Half of the big man’s face was bloody and burned, right eye swollen closed. Behind him was an Imperial Delta-class shuttle.

Jyn and Cassian exchanged a quick look. Off to their right was a huge mushroom cloud, brighter than the sun above them for its proximity. The Death Star had fired.

Together, they hobbled with Baze to the ship and up the ramp. Tonc was there, kneeling beside a gravely-injured or perhaps dead Chirrut Îmwe. Bodhi sat in the pilot's seat, looking like he was waiting for direction.

“Go!” Jyn ordered. “Go now!”

Bodhi whirled, yanking at the controls, and the ship lurched upwards. Cassian stumbled, dropped to the floor beside Chirrut. Jyn crouched beside him.

“Stay with me,” she said urgently. “Please. Stay with me.”

“Hurts,” he mumbled, slumping back in the cold, grey metal.

“I know. Try, please.”

Jyn shrugged out of her vest and folded it to make a pillow for his head. “Eyes open, Captain.”

He reached up, caught her hand. “Doesn't- doesn't change it.”

“Doesn't change what?” she asked.

“Vohai. Doesn't change… this.” His hand squeezed hers weakly.

Jyn gave him the best smile she could muster. “That's good to know. Rest, but keep your eyes open. I know it's hard.”

She looked over to Baze, whose dark eyes were fixed on Chirrut’s still form. “Is he…?”

It was Tonc who said, “Alive. Barely. We've gotta find a hospital or he won't stay that way.”

She nodded. “The fleet was here. Can we contact any of them? Distress call on Alliance frequencies?”

“I dunno. I'll ask Bodhi.” Tonc got up with no little trouble and stumbled up to the cockpit.

Jyn followed him with her eyes, seeing that they'd made it to hyperspace. That was one less thing to worry about. She couldn't seem to focus on the how of their escape, thoughts sliding around like water on a transparisteel window pane.

Cassian was Jeron.

“Little sister,” Baze said.

She looked back, saw him gesture to Cassian, whose eyes were definitely shut. “No, no, no. Wake up, Cassian. Don't sleep!”

There was no response, though he was still breathing. She put her head to his chest. His breathing sounded okay to her, not like his lungs had been punctured. But he could have a concussion. He wasn't bleeding anywhere, miraculously, but there could be internal damage.

She tapped his face, and he still didn't stir. Definitely unconscious now. Shoving her growing panic aside, she yanked up his shirt to look for signs of internal bleeding, gently pressing on his stomach. Nothing felt unusually hard _or_ squishy, so there was that. He wasn't as muscles as she'd have expected, was actually a bit skinny. Had been on Vohai, too. Had more body hair now, though, she thought, and flushed clear to her toes.

“What happened to him?” Baze asked.

“Shot by a blaster, fell thirty, forty feet, hit two support beams and landed on a platform, then somehow climbed six stories to the roof.” She shook her head. She'd thought him dead. And he'd crawled his way up to find her, make sure the plans got sent.

Jyn ran her fingers through Cassian's sweat-soaked hair, remembering now when it was long and in his eyes, falling across his face as he moved above her. How was it possible that that one night stand she'd had on Vohai was _Cassian_?!

Dragging her thoughts away from the memory, Jyn turned to Baze. “What are Chirrut’s injuries?”

“Too close to an explosion,” he said gruffly. “He- I thought he was dead. I left him for vengeance.”

She reached over, clasped Baze’s forearm. “Don't feel guilty. You're both here. That's what matters.”

Tonc came skittering back. He had a small medkit in his hands. “Bodhi reached the Alliance,” he said excitedly. “They're sending one of the medical frigates back. We're meeting up with them at Christophsis. That's an hour and a half from here.”

“They know we're in a stolen ship?” Jyn asked.

The man nodded as he popped open the plasteel box and started rifling through. “Yeah. They know. And that we need a lot of medical. This stuff isn't going to help Chirrut or the captain. It's just bandages, a couple stims, some really small, individual bacta gel packs. Basic first aid.”

Jyn grabbed it, pawed through herself. “Superficial wounds,” she sighed. “But they'll help with our burns and things.”

Tonc was shaking, and Jyn told him, “Sit, head between your knees. Breathe. Can't have you going into shock, soldier.”

He nodded and crawled up to one of the seats along the walls. “Yes, sergeant, ma’am.”

She handed him one of the stims, in a tiny autoinjector. “Inside of the forearm. What are your injuries?”

He showed her the blaster burn on his shoulder as he accepted the stim. “I'm okay. Most of the guys, though… I played dead.”

“Don't feel guilty about that,” she said firmly. “You couldn't help them and you got us out. That's what matters.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

He used the stim, finally, and dropped his head between his knees.

Jyn grabbed the front of Cassian’s shirt, where the blaster bolt had seared the fabric, and ripped it open. The wound actually wasn't too bad. It had just been enough to make him lose his grip and fall, since his other hand had been occupied with a blaster. She spread some gel over it, then a larger bacta patch. It was all she could do and it made her feel so helpless.

She gave a handful of tiny bacta packets to Baze, along with an antiseptic wipe or two. “Do what you can for Chirrut and yourself,” she said softly. “I'm going to check on Bodhi.”

He nodded silently, gaze flicking to Cassian. She was reluctant to leave the captain, but there wasn't anything she could do for him. Bodhi would get them to the frigate and she had to see to the pilot’s injuries to make sure that happened.

Her whole body ached as she dragged herself to the cockpit. She didn't want to think about Cassian being Jeron, or his insistence that their shared past didn't change the events of today. It would, she knew. When he knew everything.

If he survived.

She dropped into the copilot seat. “How are you doing, Bodhi?” Jyn asked.

He held up burned hands, turned his head to show her the burns on the side of his face. “Barely escaped a grenade,” he croaked.

She managed not to wince. “Hold still. I've got some bacta. It's not the best solution, but it should help until we get to the Alliance. You did good, Bodhi.”

“Did the plans get through?” he asked.

“They transmitted. Other than that, I don't know.”

Working in silence, she spread the gel on the worst of it and then bandaged his hands, the side of his head. He gestured to her burned fingers, but she shook her head. It wasn't anywhere near as bad as his injuries. Her shoulder hurt horrendously, and she'd done something to her left hip, but she was alright other than that, and their supplies were limited.

“Rest,” she said. “How long til we get there?”

He looked at the console. “An hour.”

She nodded, patted him lightly on his uninjured shoulder, and went back to check on Cassian.

Baze had wiped the blood off his face and applied some gel to the burn, but left it unbandaged. He'd also treated some of the cuts and burns she could see on Chirrut’s exposed skin. The biggest worry for Chirrut was soft tissue damage and internal bleeding.

“How is he?”

“Breathing,” Baze said. “How much longer?”

“An hour.”

He gave her a look she understood well. Chirrut, and Cassian, might not have an hour.

The adrenaline that had flooded her and kept her going until now was fading. Jyn curled up in the floor beside Cassian, head on the uninjured part of his chest to listen to his heart beating. As long as it kept beating, as long as his chest rose and fell with breath, there was a chance.

“You can't die,” she whispered. “I still have to tell you about Auren.”


	3. Chapter 3

**\--Chapter Three--**

  
_Christophsis_   
_The Outer Rim_

Jyn woke when they dropped out of hyperspace. Everything hurt. For a few seconds, she couldn't hear Cassian's heart over the sound of her own pulse in her ears, and she had a moment of panic. But no. He was still breathing.

The frigate was waiting for them. Bodhi let the much larger ship pull them in with a tractor beam and prepped the shuttle for landing. Jyn staggered to her feet, shuffled past an alert but weary Tonc, waving her hand vaguely at him as she passed.

Bodhi was conversing with someone over the comms, and he turned as she came up beside him. “They want to know what injuries we have.”

Jyn took the headset from them. “This is Sergeant Erso of Rogue One,” she said. “We have two unconscious and unresponsive, with possible internal bleeding on both, one of those with definite broken ribs and a blaster wound as well as a leg injury. Two with burns from grenade explosions, one with possible eye involvement. One with a severe blaster wound but no other injuries. One with an injury to the left hip and upper thigh as well as partial shoulder dislocation.”

“Copy that, Rogue One. Medical will be standing by in Hangar 4-B.”

She handed the headset back to Bodhi. “Hangar 4-B,” she told him. “You need me to help you land?”

“N-no. I've got it.”

She gave him as much of a smile as she could muster. “You've done great, Bodhi. My father would be proud of you.”

“Thanks.” He didn't quite look like he believed her, but she knew Galen Erso would be proud of Bodhi. And maybe her.

It seemed to take an eternity to land and shuffle off the ship. Medics swarmed them, everyone getting their own gurney. Jyn was too tired to protest. Her hip hurt like a hot knife had been shoved into it.

Someone sedated her. Her last sight before she succumbed was Cassian on the next hoverbed over, pale skinned and eyes closed.

\-----

She woke as machinery lifted her out of the bacta tank, the slimy fluid running off her skin. The cool air of the infirmary hit her and she shuddered violently.

“Please relax,” the mechanical voice of a 2-1B said. “You have been extracted from your treatment tank. I will escort you to the shower. Clothing has been provided for you.”

“Cold,” she managed to chatter out.

“Apologies,” the droid said. “I will raise the temperature of this room to a more comfortable level. Please follow me to the shower.”

She did so, pushing wet hair out of her face. Her hair tie was gone, and so was everything else. Jyn wondered if they'd burned her clothes or just taken them to be laundered. At the moment, she was in the standard diaper and breast band they used for patient modesty. She needed her vest. And her necklace. Where were they? If they'd thrown out her vest…

The thought was incredibly distressing, but there was nothing she could do about it right then.

The shower was bliss, and she stayed in it far longer than necessary, after she'd washed away both bacta and accumulated grime. It had actual water, which was amazing.

Stacked nearby were a pair of white pants, slippers, and a robe that wrapped around and tied on the side. She put them on after towelling dry. They were a little big, the hems of the pants dragging on the floor, but they were warm and soft.

Shuffling out of the refresher, Jyn looked around. She was in a small, seemingly private room with no viewport. Besides the bacta tank, there was a bed, which she decided looked like the best thing to sit on. Her hip didn't hurt as badly as it had, but there was still a twinge.

She wondered where Cassian was. She couldn't consider any outcome other than his survival, not now. And what about Baze and Chirrut and Bodhi?

“You suffered a partial dislocation of your right shoulder and overextension of your left shoulder,” the medical droid told her as she sat down. “As well as minor cuts and burns to your extremities. We had to perform surgery on your left hip to repair tearing to your acetabular labrum and a fracture of both the acetabular rim and the femoral head. I would prefer that you spend another twelve hours in bacta, but as we are reaching our destination, it was decided you would be transferred to the base infirmary.”

“I have no idea what you just said,” Jyn told it.

There was movement at the door and a human woman with an auburn braid came in, dressed in a healer’s smock. “It means you made a right mess of your hip. Cartilage inside was in shreds and you somehow impacted the ball of your hip joint into the socket hard enough to cause hairline fractures in both. How in the worlds did you manage that?”

Jyn blinked at her.

“I'm Doctor Navin,” the woman added. “I'm your personal physician until we reach Base One.”

“Jyn,” she replied. “Erso. Um. There are a number of things it could have been, starting with crash landing on Eadu, nearly getting blown up by an X-Wing, jumping out a viewport onto a data tower, nearly getting blown up by a TIE fighter… I'm pretty sure it was either the X-Wing or the TIE fighter. Though it could have been that shuttle on Eadu that nearly blew me off the platform…”

The doctor blinked, opened her mouth, then closed it. “I don't think it matters. But it sounds like you've had a rough few months.”

Jyn snorted. “Months? That was the last week and a half.”

"... All the more reason for you to rest.”

“Right.”

“We'll be at Base One in a few hours. Try to get some sleep.”

Jyn nodded wearily. “Um. Where are my clothes? I need my necklace. And my vest. There's something in it I need.”

“Your clothes were laundered. You'll get them back on Yavin.”

She was too tired to argue. But if she didn't get them back, she would hurt someone. On to the next question. “Can you tell me… My friends, how are they?”

The doctor consulted her datapad. “I've been advised by General Draven that you're not allowed to leave this room until we reach Yavin, and then you'll be confined to the infirmary. I'm also not supposed to tell you anything about the people who arrived here with you. Personally, I think that's bantha shavit. I can't let you leave, but I will tell you that Corporal Tonc has been treated and released. Bodhi Rook has had a bacta treatment for his injuries and is also confined to quarters. Baze Malbus has been treated for burns and a broken arm and is confined to quarters with Chirrut Îmwe, who is still in bacta and will remain onboard until he is stable.”

Licking her lips, Jyn asked softly, “And Cassian? Captain Andor, I mean?”

The doctor’s grey eyes were sympathetic. “I can say he's alive. But I'm afraid his current condition is classified.”

“What?” Jyn exclaimed. “That's ridiculous! I'm his-”

She stopped, swallowed. Actually, she was nothing to him, according to the Rebellion. And she didn't know what she was to him.

“Friend,” she finished lamely.

Navin shook her head. “You're not his next of kin, and even if you were, I don't think I could tell you. Now rest. Please.”

The doctor left Jyn with the medical droid. She glanced at it, but knew she'd have less of a chance getting anything out of it than she had Doctor Navin. With a sigh, she dropped back against the thin pillow of her bed and closed her eyes.

\-----

When they reached Yavin, Jyn and Bodhi were loaded aboard a shuttle under armed guard and escorted to the infirmary. Tonc hadn't come with them. And she hadn't been able to learn anything more about Cassian. Bodhi hadn't heard anything, either. Jyn could only assume that he was still on the frigate, still in bacta.

He was alive. That was all that mattered.

The infirmary on Yavin wasn't anywhere near as nice as the facility in orbit. It consisted of several cots divided by curtains, and one bacta tank. A sign on a nearby door advised that all personnel had to be disinfected and attired appropriately to pass beyond it, so Jyn assumed it must be the emergency surgery theatre, or what passed for one.

She sat on one bed, Bodhi on the next. They'd pulled the curtain back so they could talk, but there wasn't much to talk about.

It occurred to her that with everything else, she hadn't asked anyone about the plans. Given that they wouldn't tell her anything about Cassian, they probably wouldn't share anything about the plans, either. Being confined to the infirmary didn't bode well, though Jyn was trying desperately not to think about it.

Besides the solitary 2-1B, there were two doctors, neither of whom had said much to either patient, nor had they introduced themselves. There were guards on the door to the rest of the base, one on each side, leaning lazily against the rough brown stone of the wall.

Jyn thought it was ridiculous that they were under guard. She had no weapons, an injury that had her actually resting, and no will to fight. And Bodhi wasn't a fighter. He was too nervous and stuttery. And he was soundly asleep, while Jyn lay in her bed, staring at the ceiling but only seeing Cassian's face in the turbolift.

Sleep was hard. Every time she closed her eyes, she was haunted either by long-familiar nightmares of family members leaving her, or of Cassian falling from the tower and those moments when she considered letting go and following him down.

She'd never felt for anyone the way she did him. Putting a name to it was hard. There'd never been anyone to trust that way, no one who drew her the way he did. Who made her feel special and wanted with just a look.

Kissing him in the lift on Scarif had felt perfect, even if they'd been facing their deaths. That he was also Jeron from Vohai complicated things in her head. It certainly made sleep more difficult, because she remembered that night clearly. Kriff, if she'd known before that the intense Intelligence agent was the man she'd had a very enthusiastic and acrobatic night with six years ago… Jyn flushed pink at the thought of how awkward that would have been. Arguing on the shuttle as they fled Eadu had been tense enough.

She rolled over, punched her pillow, and then buried her face in it. She wanted to kiss him and never stop. She wanted to hold him and never let him go, even as part of her wanted to run screaming the other way.

Only time would tell what happened. And Jyn had never been a particularly patient woman.

\-----

On day four, the door opened and General Davits Draven stalked in, followed by an aide. Jyn knew from his glare that she was supposed to be intimidated, but she just couldn't work up any anxiety.

“General,” she said.

His cold blue eyes never left her. Bodhi was apparently beneath his notice.

“Miss Erso,” he said tightly, not using the brevet rank that Lieutenant Taidu Sefla had given her on the way to Scarif. “I suppose you wonder why you're here.”

“Not really. I know it's because I defied the council and led an unsanctioned strike on an Imperial facility, which led to the deaths of fifteen Rebels on my team and a large chunk of the fleet,” she said flatly. “I was there, General. I know what happened.”

“You risked our entire alliance,” he told her sharply.

“I got the plans, didn't I?” Jyn snapped. Stang, she wished Cassian were here.

“That fact alone is why you haven't been executed for this foolish action, which claimed half our fleet and risked the life of my best agent.”

So Cassian was still alive. For now. She filed that away and fought to keep her face blank.

“So why am I still here?” she asked. “If you have the plans, let us go.”

A muscle ticced in his jaw. “The problem, Miss Erso, is that we do not, in fact, have the plans.”

She felt the colour drain out of her face. “I transmitted them,” she whispered. “The shield gate was down. I transmitted them.”

“Yes. They were received by the _Profundity_ … which was subsequently disabled and then razed by Darth Vader. A copy of the plans was delivered to the _Tantive IV_ , Senator Leia Organa’s ship, which was reported destroyed with no survivors approximately ten hours after they received the plans”

The plans were gone. All of it, everything, they'd done for nothing.

In the next bed over, Bodhi made a wounded noise, but Jyn couldn't speak.

“To make matters worse,” Draven growled, “the Empire destroyed Alderaan two days ago.”

“Like Jedha?” Bodhi gasped.

Draven’s gaze finally flicked his way, but quickly returned to Jyn. “Would that it were only ‘like Jedha’. The entire planet is gone. One billion sentients killed.”

Jyn threw off the covers of her bed and raced for the ‘fresher, where she was immediately and violently ill. Chills ran up and down her arms and her face flushed. They'd failed. They'd tried so hard and failed anyway. And they had no second chance to retrieve the plans.

She shook as she grabbed a wad of flimsi off the roll and wiped her face with it. A shadow fell over her and she saw that Draven stood in the door.

“If you hadn't ordered Cassian to kill my father, if you hadn't sent that squadron to do it, he would be here and we wouldn't have had to even go to Scarif!” Her voice shook as badly as her hands, her face hot, but she forged on. “We could have extracted him and he could have told us himself what his flaw in it was. But you killed him. _You_ kriffed this up, Draven. I risked everything to get those plans after _you killed my father_ and then your people _lost them_. Don't put this on me, General.”

Behind Draven, Bodhi said, “J-Jyn’s right. We went because the Alliance w-wouldn't. We did our part.”

“I agree,” a female voice said from somewhere out in the main room. “And now we'll do ours.”

Draven's stern face registered shock and he straightened. Jyn didn't recognise the voice. She unsteadily climbed to her feet and followed Draven into the infirmary proper.

A young woman stood there, in a dishevelled white dress, brown hair in buns on her head, the style having seen better times. She was a little shorter than Jyn, brown eyes snapping fire.

“Princess Leia,” Draven said, looking and sounding completely shocked. “We thought-”

“That I was dead? Not for lack of trying on Vader’s part,” the other woman said. “We have the plans. But the Death Star is on its way. The council is meeting.”

“Yes, Your Highness.”

Jyn was absolutely amazed to watch the transformation on Draven's face. The General gave a tight salute and left.

Leia’s dark eyes swept over Jyn, then Bodhi. “We owe you a great deal. But I don't have time for that at this exact moment. I understand you’ve been under arrest. You're not now.”

“Thank you,” Jyn said, belatedly thinking to add, “Your Highness.”

“The guards will help you locate your things. Then I'd like you to join us in the command centre.”

“Yes, Your Highness.” Jyn hesitated. “General Draven, he… I'd like to know the status of Captain Andor, but I'm told it's classified.”

Leia's mouth turned down in a frown. “I'll see what I can do. Do you know how to find the command centre?”

Jyn nodded.

“Good.”

The princess strode out, leaving Jyn and Bodhi a little stunned.

“She's scary,” Bodhi said finally. “And tiny. She's shorter than you. How is that possible?”

For the first time in days, Jyn laughed. “I don't know, Bodhi. But let's take advantage of her edict before someone changes her mind.”


	4. Chapter 4

**\--Chapter Four--**  
  
  
_Yavin IV_  
  
The council was more willing to listen to Jyn this time. She told them everything she knew about the battle station, and she and the analysts went over the plans, finally studying a holographic projection of it.  
  
She pointed to the northern trench. “There. That exhaust port leads directly to the reactor module.”  
  
“And how will the pressurised blast make it explode, exactly?” Dodonna asked.  
  
“I don't know,” she admitted. “But my father said that one blast will set off a chain reaction and take the whole thing out. He was the genius, not me. I just know he said there's a flaw in the reactor that he was hiding.”  
  
One of the Alliance scientists said, “If it's a weak spot in the containment for the reactor, a proton torpedo would definitely set it off. And a reactor meltdown that size would, at the very least, destroy their life support systems and disable the weapon, if not take out the entire station.”  
  
One of the other generals, whose name Jyn hadn't gotten, gestured to the projection. “These other exhaust ports are a lot smaller and aren't straight into the core like that one is. It's like a giant arrow pointing to a big self-destruction button, labelled ‘push me’. How did he get that design past everyone?”  
  
“Knowing the Empire,” Mon Mothma said dryly, “it was probably buried in quite a lot of bureaucratic nonsense. It's only two metres. Can our fighters get that shot?”  
  
“We'll have to try,” Dodonna sighed.   
  
Mothma nodded. “Ready your assault plan. I'll leave that to you gentlemen. I'd like a word with Sergeant Erso and Ensign Rook.”  
  
The chancellor stepped away from the console and Jyn and Bodhi followed with no little trepidation. She'd expected to just step to the side, but Mothma led them to her private office. The war room was far underground, but the chancellor’s office was high up in the ziggurat.  
  
“Princess Leia pled on your behalf, and I agree with her. We're not charging you with anything, though Draven disagrees.” Mon smiled faintly, hazel-blue eyes crinkling at the corners. “He's rather fond of Cassian and he won't admit it, but he was quite upset at the thought of losing him.”  
  
_Not as much as me_ , Jyn thought, but kept it to herself.  
  
“Captain Andor,” Mothma continued, “is in stable condition aboard the medical frigate you received treatment on. He had several broken ribs and a fracture of his right leg, and a moderate concussion but no internal bleeding. There's also some swelling from injuries to his back that have put pressure on his spine, though his back is not broken. He's in a medically induced coma, but expected to make a full recovery. Chirrut Îmwe’s prognosis isn't as positive, but we're doing the best we can for him. I've retroactively sanctioned the Rogue One mission as part of Operation: Fracture. Provided we make it out of this, you'll be commended and face no disciplinary action.”  
  
Jyn let out a slow breath. “Thank you,” she breathed.  
  
Mothma nodded, glanced at Bodhi. “Truthfully, without you, we would be facing the end of the Alliance in truth. But we are not. That said… Your future, both of you, is in question. You still ran an unsanctioned operation in enemy territory. And neither of you are in the Alliance. I'm afraid that you will need to make a choice. We can give you funds and deliver you to a destination of your choosing. Or you may officially join our Alliance.”  
  
“I'll join,” Bodhi said. “I mean, I don't have anywhere else to go, so I might as well stay here and- and help, right? I'll join.”  
  
Mon Mothma turned to Jyn, who remained silent. “You don't have to decide immediately. But in the next day or two.”  
  
Jyn chewed on her bottom lip for a moment, before saying, “I… need to talk to Cassian before I decide.”  
  
The older woman studied her. “Are you and Captain Andor… involved?”  
  
“Something like that.”  
  
Mothma sighed. “Since you're both still injured, and you have no role in the upcoming battle, I'd like you both to evacuate to the medical frigate. And I do apologise for General Draven. Leia told me what she overheard him say to you and I don't agree that the temporary misplacement of the plans was in any way your fault. I also believe that Scarif was a necessary thing, despite how costly it was. Actually, as I'm thinking about it, perhaps you would do us a favour, and pack up Captain Andor’s quarters? I don't believe he has much, none of us do. But since he's unavailable to handle the evacuation on his own…”  
  
Jyn nodded. “Of course. We'll do that.”  
  
“Then go to the main hangar and inform them that you need to be shuttled to the frigate on my orders.”  
  
“Yes, ma’am.”  
  
“And may the Force be with you. Dismissed.”  
  
\-----  
  
Bodhi waited until they'd procured access to Cassian's room before asking, “So, you and Cassian, huh? When did that happen?”  
  
She cast her eyes around the room, noting that Cassian did, indeed, own very little. There was a trunk under the bed with a few blasters in it, one at the foot with a handful of changes of clothes. It was more than she had. Everything she owned was what she wore.  
  
“It's complicated,” she said in reply to Bodhi.  
  
“Because I thought you were going to murder him on Eadu…”  
  
She ignored him, gathering the few things Cassian had on his tiny desk: a holocube, a stack of datapads, a few data sticks and disks. She didn't look at any of it; it wasn't her business. Then she crawled under the desk, retrieved three more disks taped to the underside, and did the same to the bed.  
  
Bodhi, meanwhile, stripped the bed and gathered Cassian's toiletries and shaver from the tiny refresher attached to his quarters. Everything went into the trunk.  
  
“You think we got it all?”  
  
She shrugged. “I've checked every hiding place I can think of. I'll check the ‘fresher, but I think we've found all of his stashes.”  
  
Except one. Jyn found the small, plastic pouch inside the lid of the toilet tank, wrapped in more plastic. Wondering what he would have stored there, of all places, she gave in to curiosity and pried the waterproof seal open. Inside, she found two things: a flimsiboard coaster and an earring.  
  
The coaster advertised “Blue Moons Cantina”. The earring was a dangle of three stars on chains.  
  
Her breath caught. So this was where that earring had gone. And he'd kept it?  
  
“Jyn? We should get going. Jyn? What's that?”  
  
She hastily shoved the items back in the pouch and sealed it again, hoping her face wasn't as flushed as she felt. “Nothing.”  
  
Jyn dropped the pouch into the trunk and quickly washed her hands, just in case.  
  
\-----  
  
The trip up to the frigate was one of the longest of her life. Jyn had clearance to see Cassian now, no interference from Draven. She didn't know what she was going to say if he was awake.  
  
To her surprise, they assigned her to stay _with_  Cassian. Jyn wondered if that was Leia's doing or Mothma’s. In the end, it didn't matter.  
  
Her heart caught in her throat when she saw him lying on the bed. She remembered then that Mothma had said he was in a coma. Jyn didn't have to say anything, after all.  
  
Navin wasn't surprised to see her. “We're going to be pressed for hands with this battle coming up,” the doctor explained. “I thought you'd like to keep an eye on him. He shouldn't wake up, but if anything changes, you can alert us or a droid.”  
  
“Yes. Thank you.”  
  
Cassian's things were stored in the corner, out of the way. Jyn fished the holocube out of his trunk and set it on the table between the two beds. It was clear that hers was an afterthought, shoved in to fit, but she didn't care. She was with him.  
  
She had no holos of anyone that had mattered to her. No parents, none of Saw. The only things she had were the crystal around her neck and a cheap, chainless metal locket in the lining of her vest. She worked open the tiny pocket and pulled out the locket. It took both thumbnails to pry it open. Inside, curled into the cavity where a holochip was supposed to go, was a thin braid of dark hair.  
  
Jyn touched it gingerly, just for a moment, than snapped it shut and hid the locket once more.  
  
She'd thought she'd never see Jeron again.  
  
But now she could tell Cassian.  
  
And maybe he would hate her, but she'd bet anything he would help her.  
  
\-----  
  
Jyn had just dozed off, head on Cassian's bed by his arm, when alarms began to sound somewhere in the ship. Here, it was a red light above the door that started flashing without sound.  
  
She didn't have to ask. The Death Star had arrived.  
  
The door slid open and Baze filled it. He looked no less diminished for his lack of armour and cannon. “Little sister,” he said. “The planet killer is here.”  
  
“I know.” She stood, wincing at the crick in her neck. “But we have the plans. Or they do. We're sitting this one out.”  
  
“You think they'll succeed?” he asked. His gaze went to Cassian's prone form on the bed.  
  
“They'd better,” she said grimly, "or we're all dead.”  
  
He nodded. “The captain. How is he? They’ve told us nothing. They took you away.”  
  
She told him everything that had happened since they'd been separated in the hangar. He frowned thunderously, then grinned widely when she got to the part about Leia.  
  
“I want to meet this princess,” he said.  
  
“I think I like her,” Jyn said. “Though I don't want to be in her place. Did you hear about Alderaan?”  
  
Baze nodded, all hints of a smile vanishing from his rugged face.  
  
“Leia is from Alderaan. And apparently, they made her watch.”  
  
The big warrior winced. “I like her even more now.”  
  
Jyn gave him a half smile, but it held no mirth. “How's Chirrut?”  
  
He sighed heavily. “Still in bacta. Or again. They wanted me to leave him. But I won't. Not again. He's my husband.”  
  
She patted his arm, aware it was a little awkward. “I'm sure he'll pull through. It just may take some time.”  
  
Baze’s dark eyes fixed on her face. “Half his blood was in his abdomen,” he told her. “Another few minutes…”  
  
“Don't think about it,” Jyn said. “That way lies madness. He's alive. He's getting the help he needs.”  
  
“And we're going to be blown up again,” Bodhi said from the hallway. He poked his head into the room. “Is this where th-the party is?”  
  
Baze snorted. “Funeral, maybe.”  
  
Bodhi entered in a timid, slightly jerky way that reminded Jyn of a bird or a small rodent: eyes darting, motions abrupt. From his repetitions of “I'm the pilot” and his sometimes scattered speech, Jyn suspected that Saw had subjected him to the Bor Gullet. She motioned for him to sit on her bed and she resumed her chair beside Cassian.  
  
“I don't want to distress you,” she said slowly. “But I need to know. When Saw and his people captured you, did they… Did Saw use the Bor Gullet?”  
  
Bodhi flinched, eyes going wide, and he brought his hands up to his ears. “I'm the pilot, I'm the pilot.”  
  
She stood and went to him. Jyn wasn't a touchy-feely person--except, apparently, with Cassian--but she wrapped her arms around Bodhi.  
  
“It's dead,” she told him. “It can't hurt you. Kriff, Bodhi, I'm so sorry. You of all people didn't deserve that.”  
  
He let out a shuddering breath and murmured, “I'm the pilot.”  
  
“I'm sorry I brought that back,” she said softly. “Are you sure you want to join the Rebellion? Not take some time first? You've been through a lot.”  
  
Bodhi sighed. “I don't have… anywhere else.”  
  
Jyn nodded, and after a moment, so did Baze.  
  
Suddenly, Bodhi blurted, “I didn't think we would make it back.”  
  
Glancing at Baze, she met the warrior’s gaze. “I know,” Jyn said quietly. “I didn't, either. But I'm glad we did.”  
  
“Yeah.” Bodhi started fidgeting and Jyn let him go, returning to sit by Cassian.  
  
She didn't realise she had taken his hand until Baze said, “I'm glad you and the captain have stopped fighting.”  
  
She flushed, but didn't let go of Cassian's hand. “It's complicated,” she said, echoing her earlier words to Bodhi.  
  
“Do you… think they'll do it?” Bodhi asked. “Destroy it?”  
  
“Maybe,” Baze said.  
  
Jyn resisted the urge to roll her eyes. “I choose to have hope.”  
  
“I choose to spend what time I have left with Chirrut,” Baze grumbled, and lumbered off back to his room.  
  
Bodhi hunched his shoulders. “I don't have … anyone.”  
  
Jyn smiled. “You can stay here with me until it's over.”  
  
Whether that was in victory or death didn't matter.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a little shorter, sorry. But they get longer from here.

**\--Chapter Five--**

They spent the next half hour making awkward small talk about mostly inconsequential things. Neither of them were particularly good at talking to people, not when it mattered.

She was telling him about a run she'd made with a smuggler a few years back, just weeks before that eventful night with Jeron on Vohai, when the flashing red light went off.

Bodhi looked anxiously between Jyn and the light. “What-what's going on?”

She shrugged. “I'll go find out.”

“No, you- you stay with Cassian. I'll go see.”

He hopped off the bed and hurried to the door. Jyn took advantage of his absence to study Cassian, run her fingers over his hair. He wasn't traditionally handsome, but he was the most beautiful man in the galaxy to her.

If he decided Vohai _did_ change things, despite his words on the shuttle, it would hurt, possibly more than anything she'd experienced save for the loss of her family.

The door opened and Bodhi came back. “They did it!” the pilot squeaked. He cleared his throat, tried again. “The Death Star is gone!”

A tension Jyn hadn't realised she was carrying left her with a rush that left her shaken. She blinked rapidly, and suddenly Bodhi was there, kneeling in front of her.

“Hey,” he said. “Why are you crying?”

She reached up with the hand not holding Cassian's and touched her cheek, fingers coming away wet. Jyn let out a slow, shuddering breath.

“We did it,” she breathed.

He grinned. “We did it.”

It wasn't long before Baze came in, looking about as happy as he ever did. “Today is good,” he said.

“I'll drink to that,” Jyn said.

\-----

It was hours before they heard anything from anyone. In the end, it was Tonc who came in to tell them what had happened.

“Hey, Stordan,” Bodhi said, and Jyn couldn't help goggling a bit. “How's the shoulder?”

“It's great.” His gaze cut to Cassian, still unresponsive in the bed. “I see the captain is still out.”

“He'll wake up soon,” Jyn said, in a voice calmer than she felt. “You have any news?”

He nodded. “Yeah. The Death Star’s gone, of course. It was just like you said. One of Red Squadron got a torpedo in the reactor shaft and the whole thing just went bang. Biggest explosion I've ever seen! Rumour has it that Darth Vader was at the battle, in a TIE. But that old skeleton, Grand Moff Tarkin, and about six other admirals or governors are dead. Oh, and we captured a ship escaping the Death Star, full of people who say they wanna defect. Took advantage of the fighting to take off out the other side, hid in the upper atmo of Yavin til the station blew.”

Bodhi seemed to perk up more at that news. Jyn knew he was concerned about how he'd be perceived as a defector--he'd told her as much in the infirmary on Yavin--but technically, wasn't every rebel from an Imperial world a defector? Still, having more recently-defected people might help him.

“I suppose that's good,” she said.

“It is when four of them are doctors who raided the station’s bacta supplies.” Tonc grinned.

Doctor Navin appeared at the door. “You aren't supposed to know about that,” she said mildly. “Of course, everyone does. How are we all doing?”

“Fine,” Jyn said, though her hip still hurt somewhat. She could live with it. She'd had worse. Not much, but worse. “Cassian's still… no change.”

The doctor came over and checked his vitals, his response to light stimuli. “Concussion has cleared up, so that's good. Now that the fighting is over and the injured survivors have been treated, we can run a scan on Captain Andor and see how his injuries are healing.”

They were herded out so she and the droid could get to that. Jyn found herself in a sort of waiting room, holding a cup of caf. Baze had returned to Chirrut, and Tonc and Bodhi had gone to get food. She wasn't hungry, just tired.

“May I join you?”

She looked up, a little startled, not having heard anyone approach. It was Princess Leia, dressed in a white gown with her hair braided.

“Your hair is really long,” Jyn heard herself say, then winced. “Sorry. I'm exhausted.”

Leia laughed. “No, it really is. It's a pain sometimes.”

Jyn gestured to one of the other chairs. The princess sat in it and sighed.

“We're evacuating the base,” she said, “but we had some ridiculous ceremony to award Luke and Han for blowing that thing up. Some of the council thought it was fitting.”

Jyn took a sip of her caf. “I wouldn't want one. I know Cassian wouldn't, either. Bodhi might have liked an award. Of all of us, I'd think he'd deserve it the most.”

Leia nodded. “Luke Skywalker, he's the one who made the shot and blew it up, and Han Solo make good public faces for our victory. I didn't think you, any of you, would be interested in accolades.”

“Not really. I have no use for a medal. All I want is…” Jyn trailed off, gazing down into the dark liquid in her styroplast cup. She took a deep breath and looked up at Leia. “I want to get my daughter back.”

\-----

Someone who didn't know Jyn Erso would probably say Scarif was the worst day of her life.

Someone who did know her would think it was Eadu, when a torpedo from an Alliance ship killed her father. Others might say it was the day on Lah'mu when the Empire killed her mother.

Still others would think it was the day she was sentenced to twenty years in the labour camp on Wobani.

What no one knew but her was that the worst day of her life had occurred on Kattada, two years before Scarif. She'd woken early, dressed, and prepared breakfast: cold cereal and bantha milk, since she hadn't been to the market. She'd woken her precious three-year-old, dressed her in her favourite pink smock. Auren loved pink as much as Jyn hated it, but she'd do anything for her little girl.

Jyn had a job in a mechanic’s shop. It wasn't much, and she mostly did menial tasks, but the couple who ran it let her bring Auren to work. They adored her little girl. Everyone did, really. She had an infectious smile and big, dark eyes, and curls just like Jyn’d had at her age, though Auren’s were darker than hers had been.

She looked like her father, and Jyn wondered sometimes what Jeron, or whatever his real name was, was doing, where he was. If she'd ever see him again. In the trillions of beings in the galaxy, and the thousands of planets, it wasn't likely.

She hadn't expected to get to work to find her employers dead, or the mercenaries there. For once, it had absolutely nothing to do with her criminal past or her time with the Partisans. Just wrong place, wrong time. She knew the shop was in debt to someone, but this…

Jyn had told Auren to hide and pulled out her truncheon.

She'd fought hard, but they stunned her. When she woke, Auren was gone.

\-----

The local authorities didn't care about one little girl. They didn't much care about her employers, either. Kattada was smuggler-friendly, which meant it was also disappointingly crime-friendly sometimes, despite being a Rebellion-aligned world.

It took a month to go through her employers’ files and find who they'd owed money to. She tracked down the Devaronian whose thugs had murdered her boss and taken Auren. But by then, he no longer had her daughter. He'd demanded money. Jyn had killed him without regret.

Nearly two years of desperate hunting led her to Corulag, where the newly-appointed Imperial governor, Zafiel Snopps, lived with his family. Including his adopted daughter. It took Jyn weeks to get close enough to confirm it was Auren, now called Lainey. Jyn found that ironic, given that she herself was going by Liana Hallik.

Her plan to blow up Snopps’s ship as a distraction to cover her stealing her daughter back failed. Liana Hallik was arrested and sentenced to twenty years on Wobani.

A deep depression overtook Jyn then. Lying in her cell on Wobani, she didn't care if her cell mate killed her. Auren was lost to her, probably didn't even remember her.

And then the Rebellion had come for her.

\-----

Jyn finished her tale, leaving out Cassian's identity as Auren’s father. She wanted to tell him that herself when he woke up.

Leia's face was full of sympathy. “I'm so sorry. I'm not sure what we can do to help you get her back, but I'm willing to try.”

Jyn found herself suddenly choking back emotion. “Thank you. I know that she's probably being taken care of really well there, but it's not right. She's mine.”

“Of course. She's family.” Leia hesitated. “I loved my parents, but… they weren't my birth parents. I was adopted as a baby after my birth mother died. I don't remember much about her. I know nothing about my birth father. And now I can't ask my mother and father.”

The princess went quiet, fighting tears. Jyn had never had a planet or a people to call home, but she knew about losing her family. So she remained silent until Leia had gathered herself again.

“I'm sorry about Alderaan,” she said. “I know that doesn't mean much, especially coming from me, the daughter of the man who designed the Death Star-”

“The man who was forced to build it and who deliberately sabotaged it so we could blow it up,” Leia said firmly, dark eyes flashing. “Alderaan wasn't your fault, Jyn. You did more than any of us, risked more than any of us, to get those plans.”

Jyn looked in the direction of Cassian's room, eyes unfocused. “Maybe not more than Cassian. I transmitted the plans, but he's the one who shot the man in white.”

She stopped, frowned. “I don't even know his name. I probably knew it when I was little, he was my father’s friend until my parents figured out what Papa’s research was for. But I don't know now.”

“Orson Krennic,” Leia supplied. “Director of Weapons Development and Special Projects, rank equal to Grand Admiral. The only people who have or had higher rank are the Emperor, Darth Vader, and the not so dearly departed Grand Moff Tarkin.”

“Well, that's two down,” Jyn murmured. “Only two to go.”

Leia snorted. “Yeah.”

The princess tipped her head, studying Jyn. “Mon said that you wanted to talk to Cassian before making a decision about staying or not. Are you two…?”

Jyn leaned her head back against the wall. “Maybe? I… I think I'm in love with him, or getting there. But I need to tell him about Auren. I don't know if he'd … want me with a child. His job doesn't exactly lend itself to…”

Leia nodded. “I've known Cassian for a few years. Not well, but I know his reputation. He's been nothing but loyal and obedient, until you. I think he made his choice already, Jyn.”

“Did he? I can't ask him.”

“As soon as the swelling has gone down enough, they'll wake him up. We're just lucky he didn't break his back in the fall.”

Jyn nodded, looking down at her hands. “Yeah.”

“Have you had any rest?” Leia asked kindly. She nodded to the cane at Jyn's side, something Navin had wordlessly handed her earlier after noting that Jyn was still limping. “You're still hurt.”

“Draven ordered my bacta discontinued.”

The princess frowned. “I know you probably don't want more bacta, but I'll speak with your doctor about it.”

“You're right, I don't. But if I'm going after Auren again, I need to be healed.”

"Go see if you can get some sleep. I'll arrange it.”

Jyn stood, reluctantly picking up the cane. “Alright. I want to see how Cassian is, anyway. And… Your Highness?”

“Please, call me Leia.”

“Leia, then. Thank you. I… haven't had much experience asking for or accepting help.”

“I haven't done anything yet.”

“Maybe not. But you've offered it, which is more than anyone else has.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to post this one tomorrow, but decided to take pity on all of you begging for Cassian to wake up.

**\--Chapter Six--**  
  
True to her word, Leia got Jyn another round in the bacta tank. When she emerged and showered, it was with no twinging in her hip, no limp. A little stiffness from reduced use of it, but that would ease up as she exercised.  
  
The fleet had scattered after evacuating Yavin. Jyn had no idea where they were going, and Leia had returned to Home One, the flagship of the fleet.  
  
Chirrut was finally out of bacta, but hadn't woken. They were still giving him infusions to replace the blood he'd lost. It had been difficult to do with him in bacta, but they'd had to heal the internal damage before giving him any blood, or it would just bleed right out.  
  
Jyn took to walking the corridors with Bodhi and stretch her leg. She apparently had a plasteel screw in her hip now, designed to anchor the torn cartilage in place so it could heal.  
  
“So it's not coming out?” Bodhi asked.  
  
“Nope. It's in there forever. But at least I can still go through metal detectors.”  
  
They rounded the corner and saw Doctor Navin coming out of the room Jyn shared with Cassian. The red haired woman smiled.  
  
“Oh, good. You're just in time. We're about to wake Captain Andor.”  
  
Jyn stopped in her tracks. Bodhi forged on ahead, oblivious to Jyn's hesitation.  
  
She desperately wanted to see Cassian again. But she didn't know if she was ready. Every instinct told her to run, because if she ran, he couldn't hurt her.  
  
It was too late for that, though.  
  
Bodhi stuck his head out the door. “Jyn?”  
  
She wiped her sweaty palms on her pants. “Yeah. I'm coming.”  
  
The cane took the weight off her hip. She didn't need it now, but she clung to it like a security blanket.  
  
Cassian might need it when he woke, because of his leg, she realised. She could give it to him.  
  
The medical personnel had gathered around his bed. Jyn hung back by the door, not wanting to get in the way. From her vantage point, she could see his face, still pale against the white bedding.  
  
It had been nearly three weeks since Scarif. It felt like a lifetime that he'd been lying there and she'd been wallowing in misery and self-doubt.  
  
Jyn wasn't sure what the doctor did, she couldn't see, but eventually, Cassian's eyes fluttered open.  
  
Doctor Navin spoke quietly. “Captain Andor?”  
  
Jyn inched closer.  
  
His voice was faint, hoarse from disuse. “Jyn? Where's … Jyn?”  
  
Her heart leapt into her throat. At Navin’s motion, she moved forward and slid in beside the doctor. “I'm here.”  
  
His hand lifted, and she caught it. “You're okay,” he whispered.  
  
“Yeah.” Jyn couldn't help the hitch in her voice, nor the small tremor. “I'm okay. Do you know where you are?”  
  
His dark eyes closed for a moment, then opened and darted around. “Infirmary?”  
  
“You're aboard the medical frigate _Redemption_ ,” Navin supplied. “Do you remember how you got here?”  
  
He was quiet, and his gaze returned to Jyn. “Scarif. We… climbed. I was shot. Fell. The plans. We… sent the plans.”  
  
“Yeah.” Jyn realised that she was petting his hand, but couldn't make herself stop. His grip tightened on her fingers and he smiled faintly.  
  
“Then what do you remember?” Navin prompted.  
  
Cassian's brow furrowed. “I was… in a lift with Jyn. There was a shuttle. I don't remember after that.”  
  
“You wouldn't,” Jyn told him. “You passed out and have been unconscious for the last twelve days.”  
  
He licked his lips. “May I have some water?”  
  
“Certainly.”  
  
One of the assistants went to fetch it. They raised the head of Cassian's bed so he could sit up. Jyn helped hold the cup so he could sip through a straw.  
  
Doctor Navin ran through his list of injuries and explained his treatment. “We were cautious about your spine. One of your ribs broke in two places and the swelling of the surrounding tissues put pressure on your spine, shifting a few of your vertebrae out of alignment. The bacta helped, but we had to keep you unconscious so that you didn't accidentally damage your spinal cord. You're going to be weak and easy to tire the next few days, given how long you've been lying here. You'll be off active duty for at least a month.”  
  
He seemed to take that in stride, so to speak, and merely nodded. “But there's no lasting damage?”  
  
“There shouldn't be. But I want you to rest. How are you feeling? Any pain, nausea?”  
  
“My tailbone hurts.”  
  
Jyn snorted. Navin shook her head and said, “These aren't the most comfortable beds. But you're not in pain?”  
  
“No. Just tired.”  
  
“We'll let you rest.” Her gaze flicked to Jyn. “If he needs anything, let us know.”  
  
The medical staff left. The 2-1B returned to its central posting outside somewhere. Jyn was glad it was gone. It reminded her too much of Kaytoo.  
  
Cassian tugged at her hand, returning her attention to him. “Water, please?”  
  
“Yeah. Let me get it.”  
  
Bodhi shuffled over. “I'm glad to see you awake. We've been w-worried.”  
  
The captain’s eyes took in Bodhi's burns, the waxy, pink skin where new flesh was growing, his shaved head. “You look like you have a story to tell,” he rasped.  
  
“They threw a grenade into the cargo sh-shuttle,” Bodhi confirmed. “I ran. Blast still got me. But I'm better than Chirrut. He had shrapnel in his back and side, and internal bleeding.”  
  
“But Chirrut's stable now,” Jyn said. She handed Cassian the water cup. “Baze is alright. And Tonc made it.”  
  
He took a few sips, leaned back against the pillow. “The plans?”  
  
“There's an adventure there, but you'll need to get it from Leia,” she said. “All you need to know right now is that the Death Star is gone. We found the weakness and blew it up. Tarkin is dead.”  
  
Cassian closed his eyes and murmured something in his native tongue. Then, in Basic, “Thank the Force.”  
  
“I didn't think you believed,” she teased softly.  
  
His eyes were warm as he said, “I'm willing to believe in a lot of things now.” His fingers pushed between hers to interlock their grip.   
  
Bodhi cleared his throat. “I'm … gonna go tell Baze you're awake.”  
  
Cassian didn't even glance his way. Jyn found the intensity of his gaze flustering, remembering him looking at her with the same expression in the lift.  
  
“Jyn,” he whispered. “About Vohai-”  
  
“We can talk about that later,” she interrupted. “You need to rest. If I keep you awake too long, Navin might kick me out.”  
  
His mouth compressed a little, but he nodded. Jyn figured he must be tired, otherwise he would have argued.  
  
“Sleep,” she said. “I'll be here.”  
  
\-----  
  
The lights in his room were low when Cassian woke a second time. Jyn was asleep on the bed by the wall, which he hadn't noticed earlier. He wondered how long he'd been out this time. Twelve days since Scarif. He'd never spent so long out before. That alone told him how injured he'd been.  
  
He'd lied a little when he said he wasn't in pain. His ribs and leg didn't hurt, but his muscles ached from disuse. And he was just now realising he had a catheter that no one had removed. That was uncomfortable.  
  
Cassian shifted to his side, grimacing as his muscles protested, so he could look at Jyn.  
  
He honestly hadn't recognised her as Tanith. The possibility hadn't ever entered his mind, even at seeing “Tanith Ponta” amongst Jyn's list of known aliases. He'd met at least three other Taniths in his twenty-six years, and none of them had been * _her_.  
  
He wouldn't say that he'd thought of that girl on Vohai as “the one that got away” or anything, but she'd made a memorable impression. Learning that _Jyn_  was the same woman, though, had completely shaken him. On the platform of the tower on Scarif, in the lift before they'd kissed, he'd wished he could have time to know her.  
  
Now he had the time, if she'd let him. Unless knowing him then was somehow an impediment in her mind. He hoped not.  
  
Cassian had been given instructions on calling the staff if he needed anything, but he had no intention of doing so. Under the cover of the blanket, he removed the catheter and then tossed said covers back. His body was slow to respond as he sat up, and he couldn't hold in a second groan as he pushed upright.  
  
Jyn woke at the sound and sat up, blinking sleepily. “Hey, you shouldn't be getting up!”  
  
“I can't lie here any longer,” he said. “I need to move.”  
  
She sighed, but after a moment's hesitation, she hopped off her bed. “At least let me help you so you don't fall down.”  
  
Cassian was secretly grateful for her help as he got out of the bed, dressed only in some strange robe thing. She disconnected him from the one monitor he was attached to, and pointedly ignored the flimsiplast bag he carried into the ‘fresher.  
  
“You need me to help you pee?” she asked cheekily.  
  
He snorted and shut the door in her face. He did his business, a little more unsteadily than he'd have liked. Outside, there was some commotion and the voice of a 2-1B.  
  
“Yes, he's up. I think I can manage to get him to the refresher and back, given that I helped him down from the top of a fifteen-story tower on Scarif while he had broken bones!”  
  
He grinned at his reflection for just a moment, before he frowned. So many of their people had died on Scarif. They'd succeeded, but at a terrible cost.  
  
Cassian studied his reflection. He looked tired. His stubble had progressed to a full beard and needed a trim. His hair could use one, too, falling across his eyes. He'd lost weight while unconscious, the lines of his face sharper than before.  
  
_I don't want to fight anymore_ , he thought suddenly. He'd thought it on Scarif, yes, but he'd also thought he was going to die. His fight had been over.  
  
Was it still over? Or would he let them draw him back in and use him up?  
  
Cassian braced his hands on the edge of the sink and closed his eyes. It felt like just days ago that he'd berated Jyn for her seeming apathy towards the Empire. He knew now she had nothing of the kind in her. Her passion had replaced his own conviction. Could it keep carrying him, like it had on Scarif? What if she left? Would he go with her? What if _he_  left?  
  
It was a frightening thought, leaving the Rebellion. It was all he'd known, all he'd had since he was a child. But he was so tired.  
  
There was a knock at the door. “Just a moment!” Cassian called, and quickly washed his hands.  
  
The doctor from before was there, looking a little annoyed with him. “You shouldn't be up on your own.”  
  
“I wasn't. I have Jyn.”  
  
“Told you,” that one said smugly. “He climbed a tower of data cartridges with broken bones and then through a ventilation shaft. Fifteen steps to the ‘fresher is nothing.”  
  
Navin narrowed her eyes at Jyn, then turned back to Cassian. “You aren't going to put up with bed rest, are you?”  
  
“Not really. If I stay lying there, I will lose my mind.”  
  
The doctor sighed. “Fine. Don't push yourself too hard, though. Rest when you need it. You-” She pointed to Jyn “-don't let him do too much. And make sure he eats and gets plenty of fluids. I won't take any of your macho ‘I'm a spy’ shavit. You don't return to duty until I say so, and I can ground you indefinitely if I need to.”  
  
On that parting shot, Navin left. Jyn grinned at him, and Cassian couldn't help smiling back at the simple joy and amusement on her face.  
  
Then she said, “By the way, your arse is showing.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, it's not technically Sunday, but it's just a few minutes to, so I'm counting it. Whatever.

**\--Chapter Seven--**  
  
Jyn found his clothes in a cupboard and let him dress with her back turned. Cassian thought the false modesty was a little unnecessary. Yes, it had been six years, but she'd already seen, touched, and used her mouth on nearly every inch of his anatomy.  
  
Kriff. Just the knowledge that Jyn was the same woman nearly made pulling his pants on really difficult.  
  
“Your shirt was toast,” she told him over her shoulder. “And the Imp uniform pants got tossed. Mon Mothma had me and Bodhi evacuate your quarters. And don't worry, I got the data sticks from under your desk and the packet out of the toilet tank.”  
  
He flushed a little at the memory of what was in there. Silly, sentimental junk. Had she even looked at it? Cassian covered his embarrassment by asking, “Did you get the data stick out of the bedframe?”  
  
“No, I didn't-” She turned, looking alarmed, then saw him smirking. “You're messing with me.”  
  
The smirk blossomed into a full grin at her scowl. “A little. I'm sure you got everything.”  
  
“What's in the data sticks? Top secret spy stuff?”  
  
He finished tucking his shirt into his pants. “No. One is a backup of Kay's programming when I first reprogrammed him. The other is a backup of his data banks before we left for Scarif. But they'll only work on another security droid and I can't guarantee the personality will be the same.”  
  
“Oh. I'm really sorry about Kaytoo. I know he was your friend.”  
  
Cassian sighed, letting himself feel the grief for a long moment. “He was my best friend. It might seem silly, having a droid as a best friend.”  
  
“No. It doesn't. Kaytoo was… I'd even go so far as to say he was sentient. He was an artificial intelligence but he thought for himself and he really cared about you.”  
  
She shifted to look at him, now that he was mostly dressed. “Did you have him when we met?”  
  
“No. I had him about three years.”  
  
He eyed the boots he'd been supplied with. They weren't the ones he'd left on Rogue One, after changing into the uniform, with their hidden pocket for his picks. He'd loved those boots. And the jacket he'd left behind.  
  
“Bodhi found the boots,” she told him. “He needed clothes, and some people donated things. There's also a big bin of stuff patients leave behind. I grabbed a few things. I'm not down to one measly set of clothes anymore. Oh, I made sure to bring you your leather jacket. The blue coat is with the rest of your belongings, wherever those got stored.”  
  
“Thank you.”  
  
Cassian left off his belt and holster, picked up the cane Jyn held out. “A cane?”  
  
“Keep the weight off your leg until you've got your strength back. I needed it for a couple days because of my hip injury.” She gestured to his leg. “Since your right leg was hurt, use it in your left hand. Which is convenient. You can limp along and still shoot people.”  
  
He snorted and Jyn flashed a grin. As before, he noticed that it didn't quite reach her eyes. “What's wrong, Jyn?”  
  
Her back stiffened a little, eyes going wary, all the little tells of her shields going up. He knew her well now.  
  
“What makes you think there's something wrong?”  
  
“For one, you're across the room. For another, you've been babbling, and I've never known you to.”  
  
“You've only known me a grand total of three weeks, Cassian.”  
  
He gave her the look it deserved.  
  
She dropped her gaze to her hands. “There's something I should tell you. It didn't matter before, because I was just going to help you get to Saw. And everything else happened so fast… Then on Scarif, it…”  
  
Using the cane, Cassian crossed over to sit beside her. “But it matters now?”  
  
“Oh, yes,” she sighed. “It matters a lot now.”  
  
“What is it?”  
  
She clenched her hands in her lap. He noticed she wasn't wearing her half-finger gloves. “I… I have a child, Cassian.”  
  
If he hadn't been sitting, he'd have toppled over. Debt to a Hutt or something wouldn't have surprised him. But this-  
  
“What?” he asked, but it came out strangled. “A- What?”  
  
Jyn huffed and leaned forward, elbows on her knees, and ran her hands over her face. “I have a daughter. She's five. She was kidnapped a little over two years ago and sold to the governor of Corulag as an adopted child. That's what I was doing when I was arrested. I'm not perfect. I've done things, illegal things. But yes, I resisted arrest, of course I resisted. I was trying to get my daughter.”  
  
Cassian's head was full of a strange buzzing. None of his digging had found any hint of a child.  
  
She held something in front of his face. He blinked and focused on the object. It was a cheap locket, the gold coloured plating worn away to the dull grey metal underneath. It was open, a thin braid of dark hair coiled inside.  
  
“This is all I have of her,” she whispered. “I lost all the holos, everything, when they arrested me. It took all my skill to smuggle my necklace and this into prison. I had a holochip in it, but I knew they'd scan for that, so I… had to let it go.”  
  
For some reason, she set it in his hand. He realised she was trusting him with her most precious belonging, and he held it for a moment before carefully closing it and handing it back.  
  
“A daughter,” he said.  
  
She nodded.  
  
“Does this mean you're leaving?” Unspoken was the thought, _Leaving me_.  
  
Jyn shrugged, wouldn't meet his eyes. “I don't know. I… I don't have anywhere else, but I don't even have her. I told Leia, it just sort of came out. She says she'll help. But the Rebellion isn't a place to raise a child.”  
  
“Of course we'll get her,” Cassian said. “We got into Scarif to get the Death Star plans. One child from a house on Corulag isn't a problem.”  
  
She made a skeptical sound but didn't speak.  
  
Part of Cassian was still reeling from this revelation. He hadn't allowed himself to see any future with her except for a few moments before he passed out on the shuttle. And now that was all shot to hell. Of course she couldn't stay and raise a child in the Rebellion. She _could_ , but wouldn't, rather. Not after what she'd been through as a child soldier. And he couldn't ask it of her, even if his heart ached at the thought of letting her go just as he’d-  
  
He cut that thought off viciously, tamped it down. Later. He'd think about it later.  
  
“Tell me about her.”  
  
Jyn sighed, and her shoulders slumped a little. He wanted to reach for her, but that ease they'd had on Scarif was gone, and he felt they were suddenly back to the beginning, when she'd been dragged in cuffs into the war room on Yavin.  
  
“Her name is Auren. They're calling her Lainey Snopps now. Such an ugly name. I was Nari McVee when I had her, so her birth name is Auren McVee. I had her on Alderaan. Not intentionally, that's just where I'd ended up. She was born nearly a month early. When she was a few months old, we moved to Kattada. I got work there, for a childless Togruta couple who let me take her to work with me. When Auren was three, I…”  
  
Haltingly, slower than she had with Leia, she told him about the day she'd lost Auren. “I think they thought they'd killed me. It wasn't a stun shot, but he only grazed me. I fell and hit my head. When I woke up, she was gone. The authorities didn't care at all. Said it was what happens when you work for people who run a chop shop. They didn't run one, they just owed money to the wrong people, but…”  
  
“It was Kattada,” he murmured. “I've been. Leia was there a year ago, actually. She knew the woman who ruled the planet.”  
  
“She didn't say anything when I mentioned it.”  
  
He shrugged. “We'll get her, Jyn. As soon as I have my strength back, we'll go get your daughter.”  
  
“Thank you,” she whispered. “Cassian, I…”  
  
Then she shook her head. “Thank you.”  
  
\-----  
  
She'd intended to tell him the truth about Auren, but seeing his face when she'd told him she had a child had made her hesitate. Cassian had looked both stunned and dismayed.  
  
He was a spy, an assassin, Force knew what else for the Rebellion. His lifestyle wasn't geared towards family and children. She'd known that before she'd told him, but she'd hoped…  
  
Leaning her head against the wall in the shower stall, she made a sound somewhere between a laugh and a sob. It was just her luck. She'd finally found someone who wanted her, or at least seemed to, someone she actually trusted and cared for, and it was a man who wasn't suited to fatherhood. And she hadn't even told him the most important part, either.  
  
Jyn closed her eyes, remembering those moments on the turbolift, back on Scarif. She'd known they were about to die, with no way off the planet. He had, too. So they'd given in, even just briefly.  
  
Everything they'd been through had created an intense connection, an artificially accelerated relationship. Jyn knew that part of her feelings for him were just that, but then she'd remember that he'd come back for her, again and again, and he'd looked at her like she was the only thing in his universe.  
  
That it was Cassian she'd fallen for, that it was he who had fathered her child, and that she couldn't have, seemed more cruel than the possibility of dying on Scarif. Finding the possibility of love, tying it to her child, and then taking it away? If all was, as Chirrut insisted, as the Force willed it, then the Force could kriff itself with Skywalker’s lightsaber.  
  
\-----  
  
Chirrut woke the next day. He'd been in bacta long enough that all he suffered now was muscle weakness from days of being suspended in the bacteria-laden fluids, getting nutrients through a tube. But he was surprisingly chipper for his ordeal.  
  
Jyn was happy that he'd pulled through. He'd been kind to her and she genuinely liked the older man. She couldn't imagine Baze without him, either.  
  
“Baze tells me that the Death Star is destroyed,” Chirrut said, as she sat by his bed.  
  
“It is. I'm told it was a very big explosion. A farmboy from Tatooine got the shot in. His name is Luke Skywalker. I've only met him once, but he looks like he's about fifteen and he's just… so shiny.”  
  
“In the Force?” Chirrut asked.  
  
“He was apparently training to be a Jedi, so maybe. I meant in that he's new, and really damned naïve.” Jyn sighed. “He's nineteen, never been off his home planet, gets in the cockpit of an X-Wing for the first time and blows up the kriffing Death Star with his stanged targeting computer off.”  
  
Chirrut grinned at that. “A Jedi? Tell me more.”  
  
“I don't know any more than that, but I can ask the princess to introduce you.”  
  
The older man's brows lifted. “Princess?”  
  
“Princess Leia Organa. She's- She _was_  Senator Organa’s daughter. Did anyone tell you about Alderaan?”  
  
Chirrut's face turned grim. “Yes. Baze told me.”  
  
“Bail Organa was married to the queen of Alderaan. Leia is their daughter.” Leia had come back twice to talk to Jyn, though she wasn't sure why. Maybe it was because they'd both lost their fathers to the Empire, to the abomination of the Death Star. Maybe it was that Jyn was the only female near Leia's age. She didn't know, but oddly didn't mind it. “They made Leia watch as they blew it up. She's taken his place on the council. She isn't as much of a pacifist as he was. Actually, she asked if I'd like to join her for a girls’ night and go to the shooting range aboard Home One when we meet up with it.”  
  
He chuckled. “You would do well to befriend her, I think.”  
  
“Maybe.”  
  
“You hesitate. Why?”  
  
The door opened and Baze entered, with Bodhi. Bodhi had been spending more time with Baze, connecting over the loss of Jedha, she supposed.  
  
She sighed. Actually, this was a good time to tell them. “I don't think I'm going to stay with the Rebellion.”  
  
Baze's brows nearly met his hairline. “Did something happen between you and the captain?”  
  
She started to shake her head, then stopped. “Not in the way you think. I… I have a daughter.”  
  
Bodhi's mouth dropped open. “What?”  
  
Jyn rolled her eyes. “Why does everyone keep doing that? Yes. I have a daughter. Had. She was taken from me. I was trying to get her back when I was sent to Wobani.”  
  
“Where is she?” Chirrut asked.  
  
“Corulag. She was illegally adopted by the Imperial governor there.”  
  
Baze folded his arms across his wide chest. “Then we're going to Corulag as soon as Chirrut can walk.”  
  
Jyn's eyes widened. “I can't ask that of you.”  
  
“You are not,” Chirrut told her firmly. “You are family, Jyn. That makes your child family. We will help you get her back.”  
  
“Yeah,” Bodhi said, and there was no hesitation in his voice, no stutter.  
  
She looked from face to face, and felt tears well up in her eyes. She'd been alone so long, and done bad things. How did she end up with such friends?  
  
It almost--almost--made up for the expression on Cassian's face that had crushed her hopes.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've decided I'm too impatient to keep much of a posting schedule, especially since this story is actually finished.

**\--Chapter Eight--**  
  
Two days later, the medical frigate and _Home One_ met again in a nameless, uninhabited system known only by a string of numbers, in the Oktos Sector, near the edge of Hutt Space. The _Redemption_ , Jyn had figured out, staggered its jumps around _Home One_ , but they stuck fairly close together. The gigantic Mon Cal cruiser was the fleet's most powerful ship, and the hospital ship, while heavily armed, was still technically its most vulnerable. So _Redemption_ shadowed _Home One_ , and Leia ventured back and forth.

That stopped when the crew of Rogue One, Chirrut included, moved to the flagship. Cassian had quarters with the officers three floors away from the guest quarters Jyn, Baze, and Chirrut were assigned. Bodhi was bunking with the pilots, testing out his resolve to actually join. Jyn hadn't seen Tonc since the day the Death Star had been destroyed and didn't know where he'd ended up.  
  
Jyn sprawled on the bed in her small cabin. There wasn't much, just a bed, a private ‘fresher, storage for clothes she didn't really have. She now owned two shirts and two pairs of pants, but still just one pair of boots and one jacket. Cassian, she thought idly, made up for her lack with however many he owned.

She'd been requested at a meeting with Leia and Mon Mothma in a bit, knew she should probably make herself presentable. That would take both caring and effort, and she was all out.  
  
She'd gotten used to rooming with Cassian, such as it was, even if things had been awkward and stilted in the days since she'd told him about Auren. Jyn wanted to tell him the rest, but remembered the look on his face and couldn't bring herself to. They'd argued fiercely on the stolen shuttle after they left Eadu, and she didn't want the possibility of seeing that anger and disgust again, not about their daughter.  
  
_He's not like that_ , a voice in the back of her head scolded. _He didn't leave after Eadu. He came back for you on Scarif._  
  
But she _didn't_  know that, not really.  
  
She could take his anger after Eadu. She could take his scorn for her part in Saw’s Partisans. But she couldn't face his rejection of Auren. He couldn't reject her if he didn't know.  
  
Jyn pressed a hand over her flat stomach, remembering how she'd done the same when she'd first learned she was pregnant. The idea of not keeping the baby had only ever been a brief flicker, a passing thought summarily rejected. Yes, she'd been scared, but she'd also been determined. She would give her child the life her parents hadn't managed for her, the life she'd been denied.  
  
She'd failed, but she'd tried her best.  
  
A traitorous part wondered if maybe Auren wasn't better off with Governor Snopps and his family. What could Jyn give her that the richest man on Corulag couldn't?  
  
_Her mother_ , she thought. _I'm her mother. And she remembers me. I know she does. She called for me that day._  
  
Her commlink chirped. Jyn fished it out of her pocket and, still prone on the bed, answered it. “Erso.”  
  
“It's me,” Cassian's voice said. “Mothma wants a meeting.”  
  
“Yeah,” Jyn said. “I'm on my way.”  
  
“No, you're not. I'm outside your door.”  
  
Exasperated, Jyn rolled off the bed and went to the door, palming it open. “Okay, _now_  I'm on my way.”  
  
His amusement was a tiny quirk of his mouth. She loved it when he smiled, and kriff, she wanted to kiss him so much.  
  
_I love you_ , she thought suddenly. _Why can't I tell you?_  
  
The smile flickered, faded, and Cassian cleared his throat. “Well. Let's go. I thought you might need help finding the conference room.”  
  
“Yeah,” she sighed. “I probably will.”  
  
\-----  
  
For his part, Cassian didn't know what to say. Everything he'd thought he'd known about Jyn Erso had been turned on its head. So many things she'd said to him took on an entirely new context, knowing about Auren.  
  
_“I haven't had the luxury of political opinion.”_ No, she wouldn't. Not as a single mother. Her first priority would have been taking care of her child.  
  
He felt like a heel, looking back. Her choices and her anger had never only been about her father.   
  
Things had changed between them, and he hated it. He'd assured her that what happened on Vohai didn't change how he felt. In fact, it gave more context to his inability to get her out of his head. But she didn't feel the same, apparently. What had passed between them on Scarif now seemed to be gone.  
  
It made sense. She'd kissed him because she'd thought they were going to die. When they'd lived, it had changed things. Jyn had a real chance at getting her child back now, and he'd help her do it. He'd do it even if he hadn't fallen for her, both literally and figuratively.  
  
But he'd met her over six years ago. Her daughter was, what, five? Cassian wondered who the father had been, if he was a part of Jyn's life at all. Probably not, or her daughter likely wouldn't have been taken. He couldn't imagine anyone leaving Jyn alone like that, though he knew others had.  
  
Had her lover died? He hadn't found a record of any marriages for Jyn, hadn't found any hint she'd had a child. Did she have an alias he hadn't uncovered, or had she just hidden the child well?  
  
And how could he possibly compete with that, anyway? She'd had a child with someone. The memory of that man, whoever he was, would be present every time Jyn looked at her daughter.  
  
Would she leave and go back to whoever he was, if he was alive, once she had the child back? Even if she didn't, Cassian was a spy and an assassin. He wasn't fatherhood material. That was even if Jyn wanted him in the first place.  
  
But he wanted her. For the first time, he wanted something other than the Rebellion. And Cassian had no idea what to do. His head was a complete mess.  
  
They arrived at the conference room, a smaller one with a table that only sat eight. The princess and Mon Mothma were already there, as was a man Cassian didn't know, tall and lanky in an off-white shirt and a black vest, slouched in one of the chairs. Also present was a kid with blonde hair.  
  
“Captain Andor, Miss Erso,” Mon Mothma said warmly. “Thank you for joining us. Leia tells me that you have need of assistance from us in retrieving your daughter, Jyn.”  
  
Jyn, who had settled in a chair to Cassian's right, said, “I would appreciate it. I tried myself. Didn't work.”  
  
He shifted slightly to look at her, remembering that first meeting on Yavin. He'd attributed the sense of knowing her to the hours he'd spent studying everything they had on her. But now, really looking at her, he saw sixteen-year-old Tanith Ponta. Sixteen was legal, but kriff, she'd been so damn young. He hadn't known. She hadn't said.  
  
“I'm afraid we don't have many resources to devote to the effort,” Mothma continued. “Our losses at Scarif and Yavin were heavy.”  
  
There was no rebuke in Mothma’s voice. She finally seemed to understand that this was a war. Cassian disagreed with Draven on a number of issues, most of them occurring since he'd met Jyn, but that was one thing that the two men were in agreement on: Mon Mothma was too pacifistic and naïve. Or she had been.  
  
Leia spoke up. “Since your daughter was born on Alderaan and lived there until she was a year old, I feel that, if necessary, we may be able to use that, if we can figure out how. I think, however, we're going to need a more… direct approach. Han’s offered to fly a team to Corulag. We just need to put one together.”  
  
“We have one,” Jyn said. “Bodhi Rook, Baze Malbus, and Chirrut Îmwe have already volunteered to help.”  
  
“And me,” Cassian said. “Of course I'll help.”  
  
“I don't know what use I’d be,” the blonde kid said, “but if there's room, I'll go.”  
  
Leia gestured to the males Cassian didn't know. “I should have introduced you. I just realised you haven't met. Han, Luke, this is Captain Cassian Andor and Jyn Erso, who led the strike team to Scarif and stole the Death Star plans. Jyn, Cassian, this is Han Solo and Luke Skywalker. They rescued me and took down the Death Star.”  
  
Han was the slouched man, Cassian realised, and Luke was the kid. Jyn had been right in describing him as young. _This_  was the hero of the Rebellion? Then again, stranger things had happened. Like them surviving Scarif.  
  
“Since we have no base to relocate to as yet,” Mothma said, “and you, Captain Andor, are still on leave for medical reasons, I shall leave the specifics of your plan to you. General Draven will be informed that you're taking some personal time.”  
  
They watched her leave, then everyone turned to look at Jyn. Cassian didn't miss the way she flinched at the sudden scrutiny, nor the way she rallied herself under it.  
  
He cleared this threat to draw their attention his way. “We should start by laying out what we know of Corulag. I was there recently, about the same time as Jyn, actually. I didn't know it. But I know some about the operations there. Jyn, what can you tell us about the governor's compound?”  
  
She met his gaze, nodded. “It may have changed since I was arrested, but…”  
  
\-----  
  
Chirrut wasn't up to fighting form just yet, but they planned to head to Corulag, establish a safe house, recon the governor's compound, and plan from there. It was thirty-six hours from the edge of Hutt Space to Corulag, so he'd have some time to rest.  
  
The crew of Rogue One met in the hangar where Han Solo’s ship had berth. Jyn had a leather messenger bag with all of her meagre belongings in it, not sure yet if she would be coming back to the fleet or not once she had Auren.  
  
When they entered the hangar, they followed the sound of Solo’s voice to an ancient YT class Corellian freighter that looked like a strong wind would crush it. On seeing it, Cassian said something in his native language. Jyn couldn't speak a word of it, but from his tone, it hadn't been kindly.  
  
Solo was atop the ship, finishing some last minute repair. He looked down at the through his protective goggles, then at the motley crew behind them.  
  
“It's gonna be a tight fit,” he called down. “Only got bunks for seven. With Luke and the princess along, we'll have to rotate sleeping.”  
  
“We've had worse,” Bodhi shot back, and Jyn beamed with pride for her timid, anxious friend.  
  
“Yeah?” Han pushed the goggles up. “What's worse?”  
  
“Twenty beings and a security droid crammed into a Zeta-class cargo shuttle,” Bodhi told him. “For two and a half days from Yavin to Scarif. No beds. One ‘fresher.”  
  
Solo winced.  
  
“He didn't mention that it was nineteen males and one female,” Jyn added.  
  
Beside her, Cassian snorted softly.  
  
The owner of the battered freighter clambered down through an apparent access in the top of the ship, and then appeared at the lowered ramp. “Come on in. There's two crew bunk cabins, though Chewie’s got one of the beds permanently. That's in the one on the left, bottom bunk. Only one big enough for him. I usually sleep in the bunk in the lounge. There's two passenger seats in the cockpit and some seating in the lounge. Head is between the crew cabins. If necessary, we can figure out some bedrolls in the secondary hold.”  
  
As he spoke, he led them into aforementioned lounge and pointed out the short corridor leading to the refresher and cabins. Leia and Luke were already aboard, seated at the dejarik table.  
  
“Who is Chewie?” Jyn had to ask.  
  
With a warbling groan, a tower of brown fur emerged from the corridor to the cockpit. The Wookiee was even taller than K-2SO had been. Jyn tried not to gape, but she felt minuscule beside it. Him? And Leia was even shorter than her!  
  
“Chewie,” Han said with a broad grin. “My co-pilot. Chewie, these guys are the ones who stole those plans in the first place.”  
  
The Wookiee’s blue eyes flicked to each stranger, and then he grunted something.  
  
“He says hi,” Han said. “Get her fired up, Chew, let's get going.”  
  
“What is this ship?” Baze asked, speaking for the first time. “And is it reliable?”  
  
Jyn quickly looked anywhere but at Han, biting her lips to keep from smiling at the assassin voicing her own concerns.  
  
Solo’s indignation at the question came through his voice clearly. “Reliable?! This is the _Millennium Falcon_ , buster.”  
  
No one said anything. Jyn looked at Cassian, brow raised. He shook his head and said, “Never heard of it.”  
  
Han made a strangled noise of frustration that sounded not unlike his Wookiee co-pilot and stomped off to the cockpit.  
  
“He thinks his ship is famous,” Luke said.  
  
“It is,” Cassian said. “I’ve heard of it, vaguely. Get settled, everyone. I have a feeling this will be bumpy.”  
  
Leia said, “Oh, you have _no_  idea.”


	9. Chapter 9

**\--Chapter Nine--**  
  
Cassian was not impressed by Han Solo or his junky ship. He missed his U-Wing, the one that he'd crashed on Eadu just weeks before. One advantage the _Millennium Falcon_ had, though, was that the U-Wing hadn't had bunks.  
  
Jyn had retreated to one of the cabins before he could speak to her. He was still conflicted over knowing she was a mother, but he wanted to talk to her about it. There was something between them, they both knew it. Cassian wasn't sure how he felt about children, but he thought--if Jyn was willing--that he was willing to try.  
  
Later, though. He didn't want to make this trip any more awkward than it already was.  
  
\-----  
  
Jyn woke in the dark, staring at the bottom of the bunk above her. She'd taken the middle one because the top had made her claustrophobia itch, and she wanted to leave the bottom bunk for Leia. It seemed undignified to make a princess climb up to sleep. She rolled out and climbed down, getting a glimpse of Luke in the top bunk. Leia was, as expected, in the bottom one, which was both longer and wider than the other two.  
  
She was quiet as she left the cabin, dragging her blanket with her. It was a little chilly on the ship. After a stop in the ‘fresher, Jyn poked her head into the cockpit, where Bodhi sat talking with Han. She didn't see Chewie, figured he must be taking his turn sleeping. With a total of seven bunks on the ship, and nine people on board, it was a little crowded.  
  
Baze and Chirrut were in the lounge, sitting together by the dejarik table. Cassian must have been sleeping in the cabin with Chewbacca. She didn't know if she was relieved or disappointed. She felt so conflicted. It had been so easy on Scarif. But now...  
  
“Little sister,” Baze rumbled. “You look troubled.”  
  
“She carries a heavy burden,” Chirrut said. “Come, sit and tell us.”  
  
She didn't want to. But Jyn felt drawn to them. And part of her thought that maybe they could help her figure out how to tell Cassian.   
  
Jyn slid into the side of the bench by Baze and pulled the blanket she'd wrapped around her shoulders closer. “I don't know where to start.”  
  
“You are avoiding the captain,” Chirrut murmured, not referring to Captain Solo. “What changed?”  
  
She spoke quietly, not wanting the sound to carry far. “Um. I realised on Scarif that Cassian and I've met before. A little over six years ago, on Vohai. I guess he was on an operation for Intelligence. I was going by Tanith Ponta. He told me his name was Jeron. It was just… just one night. I didn't think I'd see him again. I didn't recognise him as Cassian.”  
  
Chirrut leaned back in his seat. “Ah.”  
  
Baze looked down at her. Even seated he was quite a bit bigger than her. “And how old is your daughter?”  
  
She let out a breath. “Five years and four months.”  
  
The big man snorted. “He doesn't know, does he?”  
  
Mutely, Jyn shook her head. “He's smart. He should be able to do the math. But… Wait. How did you know?”  
  
“You spoke of her to Captain Andor on the ship from Scarif, when he was unconscious,” Baze reminded her.  
  
“Oh. Right.” Jyn shook her head. She'd forgotten that. “I need to tell him for real now. How do I say it? I can't find the words. He's helping me get her back, but what if he doesn't…”  
  
“Doesn't want the child?” Chirrut asked gently.  
  
She nodded.  
  
“You won't know until you tell him and give him the chance,” Baze pointed out.  
  
Jyn sighed. “You were there on Eadu,” she said. “When we fought. I don't- I _can’t_ do that about Auren. I can't.”  
  
Baze grunted. “You think he'll be angry with you for not telling him.”  
  
“Wouldn't you be?”  
  
Chirrut shrugged, expression wry. “I'll never have the opportunity. But I think you are selling the captain short. You have only known him as Cassian for a few weeks. When did you realise the truth?”  
  
“Scarif,” she admitted. “Just before you found us and we escaped.”  
  
“And he was in a coma for a long time,” Baze said. “When would you have told him this news?”  
  
“When he woke up.”  
  
Chirrut laughed outright. Even if it was technically at her expense, it was a good sound to hear. It meant he'd survived. “Yes, that would have gone over well.”  
  
She chuckled weakly. “Yeah. That was my thought.”  
  
The blind man, despite Baze sitting between them, reached his hand out to Jyn, much as he'd done on Eadu. She put her hand in his, as she'd done then, and let him squeeze it.  
  
“The captain,” he said, “is different now. I know you cannot feel the Force around him, but it moves more lightly now than before. And it brightens when you are near. Do not be so quick to doubt him.”  
  
“I know he has feelings for me,” she said. “But that doesn't automatically mean he wants an instant family.”  
  
Baze scowled. “What do you call us?”  
  
Jyn couldn't help the somewhat tremulous smile that stole across her face. “You're family,” she agreed softly. “Not _quite_ the same type as I'm talking about, though. You two, you have your unit within the bigger group.”  
  
“Mmm. Yes. I see your point.” Chirrut flashed a brief smile at his unintended pun. “I think Captain Andor is perhaps not as absorbed in the Rebellion as he was. Perhaps he would like more of life now.”  
  
Jyn folded her arms on the edge of the dejarik table and rested her chin on them with a sigh. “What do you two plan on doing now? Now that the Death Star is gone?”  
  
The blind man’s face turned wistful. “We discussed staying with the Rebellion to train the boy as best we can,” he said, “but I do not feel that is our destiny.”  
  
Baze rested a big hand on his husband's shoulder. “Jedha and the temple are gone, so we have no home to return to. That Mothma woman offered us payment for our help on Scarif.” He snorted softly. “What would we do with it?”  
  
“I dunno. I'd buy a ship, if they gave me enough. Go far away from all the fighting.”  
  
“You?” Chirrut asked, surprised. “I did not take you for the type to run.”  
  
The sound Jyn made wasn't quite a laugh, held no humour. “All I've done since I was sixteen was run. I've lived under assumed names since then. The Empire wanted me. Others wanted to use me. I had to protect Auren.”  
  
“You didn't run away after Eadu,” Baze murmured.  
  
“No. I had to… My father needed my help. His last words were basically telling me to destroy the Death Star. He was my father. How could I refuse that?”  
  
“And you thought you needed to prove the captain wrong,” Chirrut added.  
  
“... Alright, maybe a little.” She shifted to rest her forehead on her forearms. “I want to take Auren away somewhere. Somewhere she can be safe and happy.”  
  
“Not a lot of safe places these days, if you're not loyal to the Empire,” Baze grumbled.  
  
“I know,” Jyn said. “But I don't… I don't want her raised the way I was. The way he was.”  
  
Chirrut reached to pat her arm. “She won't be,” he said. “Not if we have anything to say about it.”  
  
“Thanks.”  
  
\-----  
  
When Cassian emerged from the cabin he'd been sharing with a snoring Wookiee, he found Jyn seated in the lounge by herself. He'd passed Baze and Chirrut in the short corridor, guessed that she'd been talking with the Guardians. She had a blanket around her shoulders and a mug of caf in her hands.  
  
“Is there more of that?” he asked, then paused to clear the rasp of sleep out of his throat.  
  
Jyn gestured towards the galley. “Help yourself. Solo made it, though, so it's strong enough to peel the paint off a Destroyer.”  
  
She wasn't wrong, he found as he took a sip. He winced a little, then settled next to her on the bench.  
  
“How are you?” Cassian asked.  
  
Jyn flexed her hands on the mug. “Anxious, mostly. It's been months. What if she isn't there anymore?”  
  
“Then we'll keep looking,” he said. “We will. I promise.”  
  
Her green eyes lifted to his face. “You don't have to promise that.”  
  
“I know I don't.” He sipped at the caf again, grimaced. “Tell me about her.”  
  
\-----  
  
Jyn was a little surprised by the request. He'd looked ready to bolt before, but now he was asking about her?  
  
“She was born on Alderaan. That wasn't planned. I was travelling… I'm not sure where, really, but I still had a month to go when I went into labour. I had her at a hospital in Aldera. I had no money, but… Queen Breha herself came to visit, told me everything would be okay. I haven't told Leia that. I was so tempted to stay on Alderaan, but I didn't. I was there for months, though. Auren wasn't well enough to leave for a long time. She was so small, because she was early. Her hair came in with these thick, dark curls. I had curls when I was young. I'd started to lose them by the time my mother died. She still has hers, last I saw her.”  
  
His eyes went to her hair. “Dark like yours?”  
  
Jyn shook her head. “No. Darker. My mother's hair was darker than mine, almost black, but it wasn't brown. It was auburn. Auren’s hair isn't that colour, though. It's a dark brown but definitely brown. My hair was almost blonde when I was her age.”  
  
“Does she have your eyes?”  
  
“No.” She laughed a little. “No, they're brown. She has her father’s eyes. Papa had my eyes, Mama’s eyes were, like her hair, almost black. Auren's are brown, but more like Leia's.”  
  
She glanced at him, suppressed a smirk. “Or yours,” she added.  
  
Cassian smiled briefly. “My parents both had brown eyes,” he told her. “I don't know which I take after.”  
  
“Mm.” She took a mouthful of caf.  
  
“Did you love him?” he asked suddenly.  
  
Jyn nearly spit the caf back out. Swallowing quickly, she croaked, “What?”  
  
He arched a brow. “Her father. Did you love him?”  
  
She hesitated. “I… wasn't in a relationship with him,” she said. It was true. She hadn't had any feelings or intentions towards “Jeron” than lust and curiosity. “He was… It was a fling. I mean… We were both young and a bit stupid, clearly. He never knew, but I wish I could tell him, have him be in her life. I met him in a cantina one night. It didn't last long.”  
  
Cassian's face did that blank spy thing, but she could see right through it now. “Is that something you did often?” he asked, and while his face was blank, the jealousy and annoyance in his voice were clear.  
  
“No,” she admitted, biting her lip to keep from smiling. If only she could get her courage up. “Just a few times. Easiest way to get credits when I was desperate. I _am_ sorry I robbed you.”  
  
He made that small sound of amusement again. Cassian didn't laugh out loud much, she'd noticed. “You probably needed the money more than me,” he allowed. “I had the Rebellion to keep me fed.”  
  
She nodded. She'd only seduced and robbed one guy after him, after she'd learned she was pregnant. She'd done it to afford an appointment for medical treatment.  
  
“So it was you and the baby for a while?”  
  
Jyn sighed. “I met a Togruta couple when they were picking up parts in Aldera. Rek Tano and his wife, Neela. They ran a business on Kattada, collected old parts and fixed them up, restored old speeder bikes, that kind of thing. I helped them out, kept them from getting swindled. They offered me a job. Auren and I went with them to Kattada. They found me a place to live, gave me a job. Let me bring her to work every day. It was perfect, until it wasn't. It was so stupid, they were just a few days late with a payment, all because a shipment had been delayed by the Empire, and…”  
  
She shook her head. “The Empire has taken literally everything from me. My parents, my daughter.”  
  
Cassian reached out, put his warm hand on her shoulder. Even just that simple, innocent touch sent a thrill through her. And that made her feel even worse. She wanted him, wanted the obvious thing between them. And her heart wanted to sing because _Cassian_ , who had come to mean so much, was the father of her precious baby!  
  
It took everything she had not to bolt from the lounge and find some place to cry. Jyn wasn't much for crying, but everything was a mess.  
  
“What's wrong?” Cassian's voice broke into her distracted thoughts. “If you're worried that we won't get her back-”  
  
“No, no. It's not that. It's…” How did she even begin to sound him out on the subject of children? How was she supposed to ask if he still wanted her, knowing she had a child, let alone his child?  
  
She was saved from finishing by Bodhi appearing from the corridor to the cockpit. “Han says we're almost to Corulag. He wants to know what the plan is now.”  
  
She and Cassian shared a look. The spy drained the rest of his caf, pulling a face as he did, then stood.  
  
“This is probably going to burn my Joreth Sward identity,” he sighed. “But that's fine. I hate the man, anyway.”  
  
She watched him leave. After a moment, Bodhi slid into the seat the captain had vacated.  
  
“Are you alright?” he asked.  
  
“Yeah. Just a little nervous. My last attempt to get her didn't go so well.”  
  
He smiled. “You have us this time. And Luke and Leia and Han and Chewbacca. Between the lot of us, we stole the Death Star plans and blew it up. I think we can rescue your little girl. Uh. What was her name again?”  
  
She huffed a laugh. “Auren Ezri McVee, technically. I almost named her after my mother, but … wanted her to be her own person. Well. Ezri was the nurse who took care of her in the hospital, so I… picked that. Auren was just a name I thought was pretty.”  
  
Bodhi nodded. “Galen mentioned you a few times. Not many. I mean, m-maybe twice. But I think… he would have loved to know that he had a granddaughter.”  
  
“I know he would have. I wish I could have told him.” Jyn sighed and rubbed her left eye with the heel of her hand. “I've barely slept, I've been so worried.”  
  
“We've still got at least an hour before we land, what with the planetary control gauntlet to get through. Why d-don't you try to sleep?”  
  
She patted him on the arm. “That's an excellent idea. Thanks.”  
  
Knowing the bunk she'd been in earlier was probably occupied now, she decided to take advantage of the bunk just above where they were seated. She didn't care if Solo took exception to it. It was only for a few minutes, and he was busy piloting, anyway.  
  
She crawled into it and pulled the blanket around her. Despite the caf, she was out in moments.


	10. Chapter 10

**\--Chapter Ten--**  
  
Cassian had a brief exchange with Han about the best place to land, then followed Leia out the longer corridor that went by the landing ramp, away from the lounge.  
  
“How are you doing?” she asked him in a low voice.  
  
“I'm fine,” he said. “Why?”  
  
The young woman narrowed brown eyes at him. It amazed him when he remembered that she was only nineteen. She was smaller and younger than Jyn--only by a bit of each--but they both seemed much _more_.  
  
“I talked to Jyn before you woke up. About her daughter.”  
  
Cassian folded his arms across his chest. He wasn't sure why he suddenly felt defensive. “And?”  
  
“She told me that she wanted to talk to you about it before deciding if she's going to stay with the Alliance or not.” Leia studied him, expression serious.  
  
He shook his head. “She hasn't. I don't think she'll stay. I don't blame her. She should have the chance to raise her daughter away from all of this.”  
  
Leia nodded in thought. She had her hair braided in a crown around the top of her head, instead of the double-bun style he'd known her to sport before. Cassian didn't know her well, but well enough to see that Alderaan’s destruction had changed her.  
  
“Why would she talk to me, anyway?” he asked. He knew some of why, but he wanted to hear it from an observer.  
  
The petite brunette smirked. “I'm not stupid, Andor. She spent every moment she could by your side while you were in the coma. Everyone can see there's something between you two, even the blind man.”  
  
He snorted. “Jyn deserves to find someone who can take care of her and her daughter. Why would she want that man to be me? You know what Intelligence does, Leia.”  
  
She nodded solemnly. “Some. Not all. She cares about you, Cassian. I think the question is, now, what do *you* want?”  
  
Cassian wondered why he was even talking to her about this. He didn't talk to people about things.  
  
“I want… things I can't have. Like for this conversation to end.”  
  
He went to tell Jyn they were landing, found her with her bag on the dejarik table. It was a bag she'd picked up on Yavin the first time, taken to Jedha and Eadu, then left behind when they'd gone to Scarif. Cassian watched her for a moment, amused to see she had somehow managed to hang on to the blaster she'd taken from him just weeks ago.  
  
“I thought you lost that on Jedha,” he remarked.  
  
“Nope. Baze picked it up. I forgot it in my bag when I left the ship on Eadu. Didn't bring the bag to Scarif, obviously.” She held it out to him. “Want it back?”  
  
He gave her a faint, one-corner smile. “Keep it.”  
  
After a moment, she nodded and put it back in the bag. He watched her pull a new pair of truncheons out and clip them to her belt, trying not to notice the way the strip of nerf hide rode her hips. Tried, failed.  
  
“You know, I kept the first blaster for a few years,” she said. She still wasn't looking at him. “Had it right up to the day the mercenaries took Auren. Never saw it again after that.”  
  
He snorted softly. “I'm glad to know you actually used it, rather than sold it.”  
  
“I almost did,” Jyn confessed. “But the bigger I got, the more of a target I seemed to be. That's why I was on Alderaan, actually. Everyone knew it was a peaceful place. I figured there wouldn't be smugglers or pirates or the like to harass me when I couldn't fight them off as well.”  
  
“Anyone ever hurt you?” he asked, trying to keep the alarm out of his voice. Sure, this must have been a good five years before, but still.  
  
She shook her head, then set the bag down and turned to look at him. “No. I…” Jyn hesitated, clearly considering her words. Cassian had never known her to be so hesitant. “A few got handsy but even if I couldn't run or kick, I could still hit hard as ever.”  
  
Having seen exactly how hard Jyn could hit with her truncheons, Cassian let himself grin.  
  
She stared up at him with surprised green eyes.  
  
“What?” Cassian asked warily.  
  
“You should smile more,” she told him softly. “It's a good look.”  
  
He looked down at their feet, suddenly feeling awkward. “Jyn, what- what I said on Scarif, I… Our past doesn't change how I feel. It makes it make a little more sense, actually. But…”  
  
“But my having a child does, I'm guessing?” she asked softly.  
  
“I…” He wasn't sure what to say. It did and it didn't.   
  
“You're not the family type. I get it. I was hoping…” She turned her face away, swallowing audibly. “It's complicated. I understand.”  
  
Before he could say anything else, the ship came to a not-so-smooth landing. From the cockpit, Chewie bellowed and Han yelled back, “It's not my fault! The rear strut on the port side didn't extend all the way!”  
  
They exchanged a look, and Jyn laughed softly. “Let's hope this clunker doesn't fall apart before it can get us home.”  
  
He was transfixed by her smile. He didn't want to know what she meant by “home”. For all he knew, it had nothing to do with him, despite her words.  
  
He sighed and went to pester Baze and Chirrut.  
  
\-----  
  
Corulag was exactly as Jyn remembered. She, Cassian, and the two Guardians left the ship in pairs, followed by Han and Luke. Leia, Chewie, and Bodhi stayed with the ship. Being an Imperial-occupied world, the Wookiee would stand out head and shoulders above the mostly-human population. The Empire was incredibly xenophobic, nearly everyone in its ranks human, and nearly all of the officers male. Racist and sexist, that was the Galactic Empire for you.  
  
The aliases she and Cassian had chosen for finding rooms to let, for a safe house, were Jeron and Tanith Ponta. Cassian probably thought he was being funny. If he only knew, if she could only work up the courage. Why was she being such an Endorian chicken about it?  
  
Posing as newlyweds, they found a by-the-week flat to rent, which was only a step up from the womprat hole she'd rented on Vohai. There was still only one bed, but the kitchen and dining room were separated from the bedroom and the refresher. The latter had an actual locking door, and a real shower stall.  
  
He sent the coordinates to Han and Luke, and she to Baze and Chirrut.  
  
As she set her bag on the bed, she said, “You remember that pipe out of the wall in that ‘fresher, that only had hot water for five minutes once every two hours?”  
  
He made a face, more expression than he usually showed. Jyn wondered when he'd perfected that spy mask, how long after they'd met that he'd started assassinating people on Draven’s orders. Had he started it before they'd met? He'd seemed so different then.  
  
“I remember,” he said. “I had to take a very cold shower before catching my transport. Why did you leave that morning?”  
  
She shrugged. “I considered staying. But I… I didn't trust people, even cute boys who took punches for me. I spent more time with you than I had any mark before or since. You were nice. And that wasn't something I had ever learned to deal with. You didn't have your normal accent then.”  
  
Cassian went to the window, pushed the blinds aside and looked out. “No. I was undercover. My first foray as Willix, later a government official on Ord Mantell. I was actually establishing some of that identity when I met you.”  
  
“And who is Joreth Sward?” she asked. “You mentioned him on the ship."  
  
He glanced her way. Stang, she loved his stupid cheekbones. Auren had them, too. Would he know her for who she was when he saw her? Would he understand?  
  
“Assistant to Admiral Grendreef, who is a vicious, horrible man stationed on the... _Devastator_ , I think, now. I had to put up with that pile of bantha shavit for nine horrible months. Keep him from finding one of our bases in the sector he was assigned to. Fortunately, he's narcissistic as well as stupid, and easy to manipulate.”  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
He nodded and stepped away from the window. “Fat, pompous idiot who's fond of this spray tan stuff. It turns him orange. He's got abnormally tiny hands, too.”  
  
“Sounds charming,” she said dryly.  
  
“Anyway, I managed to get transferred away from his command. But if we use that identity to get into the compound, I'll be burning it, because there's no way we're getting Auren out otherwise.”  
  
“I see. So that's why you've brought an Imperial uniform.”  
  
He glanced towards where he'd laid the thing out, the grey-green fabric dull against the plain, dark blue bedspread. His face tightened, and Jyn didn't have to ask to know his thoughts. He was remembering the last time he'd worn similar, just a few weeks ago, when they'd gone to Scarif. The boots sitting by the bed were actually the very same ones, though nothing of the rest of it had been salvaged.  
  
“Cassian,” she said, and stopped.  
  
Jyn wanted to tell him it would be alright, but she wasn't a people person, wasn't used to offering comfort or reassurances to anyone except her daughter, who had automatically accepted them just because she was Mama. Sometimes Jyn wondered if there was something wrong with her, with her inability to really “get” people or connect with them. The only friends she'd made in her life were the surviving crew of Rogue One, and to be honest, they'd done most of the work on that.  
  
He shook his head and offered her a wan smile. “Hopefully there won't be any towers to climb.”  
  
She gave him a weak smile in return, for an instant remembering the heartstopping moment when he'd fallen. She'd almost let go herself, almost followed him down. She hadn't understood why, until she'd kissed him in the turbolift.  
  
She licked her lips, opened her mouth-  
  
Something, probably Baze’s massive fist, thumped against the door. Jyn jumped, startled. Cassian snickered briefly at her nervousness, and she threw one of the uniform’s gloves at him as he went to answer the door.  
  
\-----  
  
A testament to Zafiel Snopps’s monumental ego, virtually nothing had changed in the five months since Jyn's supposed “assassination attempt” on the governor. Two days’ reconnaissance established that the guard rotations were the same, the compound hadn't been fortified, and the arrogant dictator still kept his private space yacht at the same landing pad, two klicks away.  
  
“Force, the man is an idiot,” Cassian muttered as he studied the holographic map of the compound, floating just above the dining table.  
  
“I don't think he believes anything can touch him,” Jyn commented. She gestured to the hologram. “I noted that the guard postings are the same as before. And the security cameras seem to be the same as before. I'm surprised that he's being this lazy, given that he's supposedly very smart.”  
  
“Maybe in business,” Baze grumbled, “but not security.”  
  
Han poked a finger into the hologram. “Big courtyard here. Lots of open space. Probably dangerous to cross that. And these gates are the only way in or out. These walls into the back garden are climbable, but I wouldn't try for the perimetre ones.”  
  
“No,” Jyn agreed. “Not only do they have razor wire embedded in the duracrete, there's a laser system along the top above that. It's the only real precaution the man’s taken.”  
  
Luke frowned. “How did you get in last time?”  
  
She shrugged. “Staged a hijacking of his yacht and the theft of three hundred thousand credits of weaponry stored nearby. Posed as one of the cleaning staff to get in.”  
  
Jyn chewed on her bottom lip for a moment, then said, “I had her. She was in my arms, and I couldn't get out in time.”  
  
“You have us now,” Chirrut reminded her.  
  
“And I have a really big gun,” Baze added.  
  
That made her grin. “Thank you.”  
  
Cassian zoomed the display out. “There's a pretty broad thoroughfare right outside the compound. Busy street. I heard someone say there's a market in two days, right outside. It would be really easy to set up a distraction for the guards and get away in the commotion.”  
  
“Maybe set up some flash bombs,” Han said. “Or smoke. Something low-impact but lots of noise. Real question is, how are you getting inside?”  
  
Cassian glanced at Jyn. “I've already contacted Snopps, as Major Sward. My contacts tell me that with the destruction of the archives on Scarif, and the loss of the Death Star, the Empire is incredibly scattered. It's difficult to run checks on officers and their postings, who’s assigned where and has what rank. I was just a lieutenant when I was Sward before, but with all the confusion, it will be easier to lie about a promotion. Especially if I pretend I've just narrowly escaped my posting at Scarif. I can claim Krennic told me whatever I want to say. He's dead and can't contradict me.”  
  
Baze grinned, but everyone else was somber.  
  
Jyn stared glumly at the display. “I need a cover. I need to be there. But just in case… I trained her to have a safe word. A code word only we knew so that she knew she could trust anyone I sent for her. Never had to use it before she was kidnapped. Only Rek and Neela knew it.”  
  
Cassian studied her for a long moment. “We should probably all have that, so we can each get her to safety if anything happens.”  
  
She nodded, looked at every face around the table. It was strange to know that she'd trust each one with not only her life, but her daughter's. Even Han. “It's ‘stardust’,” she said.  
  
Cassian gave her a look. “One day, you'll have to tell me what that means.”  
  
“I will.”  
  
\-----  
  
They hashed out a rough plan, with room for improvisation because it was, admittedly, rare that their plans went perfectly. In two days’ time, while the street market was in full swing, Joreth Sward and his wife, Anella, would visit the governor of Corulag. There would be no one to contradict his claim that he was taking over Krennic's job, since both Krennic and Tarkin were dead, and Snopps's family business was in, surprise, weaponry.   
  
In preparation for it, Leia did Jyn's makeup, subtly altering her facial features so she wouldn't be immediately recognised as Liana Hallik. She was putting the finishing touches on when Cassian emerged from the bedroom in the Imperial uniform.  
  
Jyn shuddered at the sight, conflicted. Empire, bad. Memories of Scarif, bad. Cassian in a uniform, surprisingly attractive. She'd had the same reaction last time, but it was worse now, in both directions.  
  
He'd shaved his beard and trimmed his moustache. It exposed the sharp line of his jaw, and the resemblance to Jeron, the young man who had fathered Auren, was much more pronounced. He still looked older than his twenty-six, which made Jyn wonder once again just what he'd been through in the past six years.  
  
His dark eyes studied her makeup, and he nodded. Leia had subtly changed the shape of her face with some sort of contouring so that it was less round and soft. Contacts darkened her green eyes to brown, and her freckles had vanished under everything the princess had put on her.  
  
“You should change,” Cassian said after a moment, and his accent was pure Coruscanti, which startled everyone in the room.  
  
“I see now why Draven praises you so much,” Leia said, looking impressed.  
  
The posture was Joreth Sward, but the smirk was all Cassian. “I'm good at what I do.”  
  
Jyn stood and brushed by him, said, “ _Right_  hand.”  
  
He narrowed his eyes at her, and she grinned.  
  
“Is that supposed to mean somethin’?” Han asked, looking confused.  
  
“Inside joke,” Cassian said shortly. “Leia, you should get back to the ship. Han, you, too. Baze, Chirrut, we'll need you in the market soon. Luke, we could also use you there.”  
  
The Jedi nodded. “Okay. I'm sure I can play the part of the dumb tourist really well.”  
  
Jyn laughed softly. “Just be careful, everyone.”  
  
“The Force guides us,” Chirrut told her.  
  
Baze added, “Don't worry, little sister.”  
  
She nodded, but couldn't speak. There was no option for her but to worry. She glanced again at Cassian, then went to change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Patience, everyone. Patience. I'll probably be updating again fairly quickly.


	11. Chapter 11

**\--Chapter Eleven--**  
  
A rented speeder brought Joreth and Anella Sward to the Corulag Governor's compound. As Cassian helped Jyn out, he couldn't help admiring how well she'd disappeared into the role. She had a truncheon affixed to her belt at the small of her back, parallel to it, and had a holdout blaster somewhere on her person, but he couldn't figure out where. She wore a slinky outfit of tight leggings, a cut-away tunic, and a calf-length cloak, all of it in shades of blue. She looked like dozens of other officers’ wives he'd seen in his time undercover: slightly conceited and self-absorbed, but mostly harmless. Nothing like the deadly fighter he knew hid behind the façade.  
  
“I'm glad Leia found me these boots,” she murmured, speaking of the flat-soled over-the-knee footwear she wore over the slightly lighter-toned leggings. “I wouldn't be able to do anything in the first shoes she picked out.”  
  
“What were they?” he asked curiously.  
  
“Seven centimetre heels.”  
  
His brain momentarily short-circuited at the mental image of Jyn in them. “... Right.”  
  
She lifted a brow, but didn't say anything. Cassian found her hair distracting. “Anella” wore it down, softly curled and floating around the tops of her shoulders. Leia had done something with her fringe so that it swept across her forehead, almost indistinguishable from the rest instead of nearly in Jyn's eyes. The contacts she wore disturbed him. He'd never had anything against brown eyes, but in his mind, Jyn didn't look right without the brilliant green.  
  
She looped her arm through his offered one. He felt her tension and murmured, “Relax. We've got this.”  
  
Jyn nodded, slowly letting it bleed out. By the time they reached the front entrance, where guards and servants waited, she had slipped completely into Anella Sward, complete with a swing to her hips Jyn herself never had.  
  
They were greeted and shown into a gathering room, where Zafiel Snopps and his wife waited. Snopps was an older man, somewhere past sixty, with sharp lines of white hair at his temples, the rest steely grey. His wife was a bit younger, hair artificially lightened to cover the silver. Cassian judged that she’d had some very good work done, but there were areas where even the best cosmetic surgery couldn’t hide age.  
  
“Major Sward!” Snopps greeted, as if the two men had known each other for years, instead of laying eyes on each other for the first time just now. “Welcome, welcome! We’re honoured by your visit! Please, have a seat. This is my wife, Taalah.”  
  
“A pleasure,” Cassian lied, in his clipped, faux Coruscanti accent, as he and Jyn sat on a flowform sofa. “And this is my bride, Anella. Ordinarily, I’d not bother her with business, but we were honeymooning when, well…”  
  
Snopps nodded. “Such a shame about Orson, really. Amiable fellow. Those damned Rebels, I just know they were behind the attack on Scarif. All this talk of a battle station of _ours_  destroying Alderaan. Rubbish.”  
  
Cassian felt Jyn stiffen, and said, “Actually, if I may confide a secret… There _was_  a weapon. Unfortunately, Governor Tarkin, well… He went a bit _rogue_ , I’m afraid. Rumour has it that he was a bit, well, senile towards the end.”  
  
Jyn’s hand tightened on his for just a moment, but her face betrayed nothing. Knowing now that she’d lived on Alderaan for a year, Cassian thought that she had to have known people who’d died. He certainly had.  
  
“I don’t know why His Excellency allowed Tarkin such a long leash,” Snopps said after a moment, tone clearly indicating he was trying to ingratiate himself with “Sward”. “The man was a totalitarian-” as if Snopps himself was not “-and power-mad.”  
  
“Dear,” Taalah murmured, “perhaps Mrs Sward and I should let the two of you talk business.”  
  
Snopps reached over and patted his wife’s hand. “Yes, yes, excellent idea, my dear. Why don’t you show her our art collection?”  
  
“Oh,” Jyn said, sounding sufficiently pleased, “I’d like that.”  
  
Only Cassian could tell she was lying through her teeth.  
  
The two women stood and left together. Cassian let his eyes linger on Jyn’s retreating form.  
  
“Lovely woman,” Snopps commented. “Quite pretty to look at. Quiet, though. Where did you find her?”  
  
“I like quiet,” Cassian said. “Less prattle. She’s the daughter of a mid-level company CEO in the Corporate Sector. The man inherited his father’s company and is doing quite well with it. I’m hoping that he’ll be our foothold into that sector of space. And it doesn’t hurt that Anella is … amiable.”  
  
“Shopping and holodramas?” Snopps asked wryly. “I’ve a daughter-in-law like that.”  
  
Cassian smiled thinly. “She adores Wynnsa Starflare. Now, let’s talk business. My promotion hasn’t come through yet, what with the wretched business on Scarif, but I’m headed to Coruscant to take over Krennic’s position. He had good things to say about your company, and I’d like to see if we can come to an arrangement.”  
  
He only knew that Snopps had been somewhat involved with it because of his spying the last time he was here, but had no idea of the true extent of the man’s involvement. His protestations about the existence of the Death Star had sounded false to Cassian’s ear. If putting up with the man for a few hours netted him more information on that--surely there were other projects he could be involved with, given the list of things he and Jyn had seen in the data tower--as well as Jyn’s daughter, all the better.  
  
Snopps stood and went for a display of alcohols on a side table. “Let’s. Drink?”  
  
“Certainly.”  
  
\-----  
  
Five minutes of conversation with Taalah Snopps, and Jyn wanted to gouge out her own eardrums with a lightsaber. It wasn’t that the woman was stupid; far from it. She just talked about people and things Jyn couldn’t give a kriff about. All she wanted was to find Auren, shoot everyone in this vaping building, and run.  
  
“-and then he had the gall to suggest Lord Vader dance with his daughter!” Taalah was saying now.  
  
“Shocking!” Jyn exclaimed. She took a sip out of her cup of caf. It was excellent caf, but served in a ridiculously delicate ceramic cup that Jyn was afraid she’d drop and break.  
  
“Isn’t it? I wasn’t there, but I’ve heard that Lord Vader-” Here Taalah lowered her voice. “-used his Force powers and made him _float_!”  
  
“Lord Vader can fly?” Jyn asked, somewhat stupidly.  
  
Taalah waved her hand. “No, no. He made that idiot nobleman float around in the air, upside down, I’m told.”  
  
Jyn really didn’t know what to say to that. It sounded completely ridiculous. Did the Force even work that way? She wondered what Chirrut would say about it, when she relayed it to him.  
  
“So. Tell me about you, dear. Recently married, I take it, as the major said you were honeymooning?”  
  
She nodded, remembering the story they’d come up with. “Yes. Joreth was stationed near my father’s company on Craci, since it’s right at the Intra-Sector Spur. Craci, I mean. I was accosted by a _rebel_  and Joreth came to my rescue. Then he asked me to dinner and, well, everything went from there.”  
  
“How daring of him.”  
  
“He’s very brave,” Jyn said, and meant it. “He saved my life. He’s a little … reserved, but we work well together that way. We were married just a few weeks ago. And we were supposed to go to Scarif after, but then it got destroyed? Joreth won’t tell me how, exactly. I don’t know what this Death Star is they keep talking about. It sounds silly.”  
  
Taalah patted her hand patronisingly. “Don’t worry about it, my dear. From what your husband said, it’s no longer an issue, anyway. I don’t know anything about Scarif, I’d never heard of it before my husband learned of Director Krennic’s death, but I’m sure Coruscant will be a much better place for you, anyway.”  
  
Jyn made herself nod. “Yes, I’m sure it will. I’ve always wanted to go to the Imperial Centre. Father never let me leave Craci. He didn’t even want me to go when Joreth was transferred!”  
  
“You poor thing, so sheltered! Well, don’t you worry.” Taalah gave her a maternal smile. “I have an idea. There’s a street market going on just outside. Our husbands will likely be talking business for quite a while. We could take my youngest and go see it. It’s quaint, really, but it’s a tradition around here.”  
  
“Your youngest?” Jyn asked.  
  
“Yes, my daughter Lainey. She’s five. I think.” Taalah frowned. “We adopted her a little over a year ago from an orphanage on Kattada. She said she was three, so we went with that.”  
  
Jyn’s hands were suddenly sweaty. “That’s so nice of you, to take her in. Joreth and I haven’t talked about children yet.”  
  
“They’re a joy, and a pain.” Taalah rose. “She’s probably in her room. I’ll go get her.”  
  
Without thinking, Jyn stood, yanked the truncheon from her belt and extended it with one motion, and clubbed Taalah Snopps in the back of the head. The woman dropped to the floor without a sound outside of the thump she made when she landed. And even that was muffled by the expensive carpet.  
  
Then she dragged the woman behind the repulsorcouch and left her there. Reaching up to the commlink just behind her ear, she tapped it twice and then murmured, “Wife is down. Target on the premises, may or may not be in her bedroom.”  
  
There was an answering double click from Cassian.  
  
Shoving the truncheon up her sleeve, Jyn went to find “Lainey’s” room.  
  
\-----  
  
He couldn’t answer Jyn’s whisper, aside from tap the button on the commlink control hidden in his wrist chrono. Cassian nodded to what Snopps was saying. He couldn’t wait to punch the pompous windbag in the face.  
  
“Hold that thought, Snopps,” he said. “I think you’re on to something there, especially if we can figure out how to minimise the energy requirements in proportion to the output. But I’m afraid I need to excuse myself for a few moments. Mind directing me to your facilities?”  
  
“Oh, yes. Certainly. Just out the door there, down the hall. Third door on the left.”  
  
“Much appreciated.”  
  
Cassian stood and grimaced a little, as if he really needed to pee, and exited as quickly as was polite. Once in the ‘fresher, he spoke into the commlink. “I’ve managed to get away for a minute. Have you found her?”  
  
“I found her room, but she’s not here,” Jyn’s voice replied. She didn’t sound happy. “I’m going to look in other rooms.”  
  
He glanced towards the reinforced window. “I’ll check outside. The next room over has doors out.”  
  
Cassian backtracked to the room he’d seen, which looked to be a guest room. It didn’t have garden access, but the wall to the garden was low enough to vault. Knowing it would just get in his way, he shed the hat and jacket of the uniform and left them on the impersonal bed.  
  
The door unlocked easily, opened soundlessly. There was no sign of any guards. Cassian took a deep breath, then dashed across the lawn towards the imitation stone duracrete wall. He jumped, using his momentum, and scaled it in seconds.  
  
Dropping from the wall on the other side, he landed on some flowers, the plants muffling the impact of his worn boots on the ground. Nearby, he heard the high, faint sound of a child's voice. It sounded like a girl.  
  
It occurred to Cassian suddenly that he'd never asked what Auren looked like, outside of her general colouring, and he was pretty sure Jyn had lost all holos over the years and during her imprisonment. He'd had a picture of a miniature Jyn in his head. She had dark hair, he knew. Dark eyes. But the rest was a mystery. He mentally cursed himself. He knew the Snoppses had several children. Would he know Auren Erso--or Auren McVee or Lainey Snopps as she was now called--when he saw her?  
  
He wondered where Jyn had gone after the girl’s room. To check on Snopps’s wife? To steal something? The latter thought amused him.  
  
Cassian moved carefully, alert to everything but focused on that small voice ahead. With soft, careful footsteps, he wended his way through the garden, until he rounded a curve on the path and-  
  
A dark-haired little girl sat playing with a stuffed toy that looked like it was supposed to be a nexu, with a nanny droid nearby, no parental or custodial figure in sight. The droid wasn't looking his way, apparently hadn't sensed him yet. The child had her back to him, wearing a pink gown that he couldn't see Jyn dressing her child in. Too fussy and frilly.   
  
“Lainey,” the droid said. “Please don't dig in the dirt. Your parents will be unhappy that you're getting your gown soiled.”  
  
The child said something that Cassian recognised as a Huttese curse word, and he grinned. No doubt about it, this was Jyn's offspring.  
  
He drew his blaster, judging the distance between the droid and the child. If he hit the thing right, it would fall backwards into the decorative pond and not on Auren. But the blaster fire would alert any guards nearby. He had one chance.  
  
He pulled his commlink out. “Rogue One. Target located.”  
  
Jyn's voice replied immediately. “You found her?!”  
  
“Unless there are two small, female children named Lainey here, yes.”  
  
“Where are you?” she demanded.  
  
“Just get her things, Jyn. Baze, Chirrut, I need a big distraction. We'll meet at the safe house.”  
  
There was a chuckle from Baze that cut off Jyn's protest. “Yes, Captain. One distraction coming up.”  
  
It didn't take long. Something outside the compound, on the other side of it all, exploded.  
  
Child and droid both turned in that direction.  
  
Cassian crouched low behind a decorative shrub and aimed at the nanny droid’s head. He drew a slow breath, let it out, and fired.  
  
The droid’s head exploded in a shower of sparks and the body toppled back.  
  
The girl jumped up, spinning to face him as he moved out from his cover. She saw him, opened her mouth-  
  
“Stardust!” he blurted, dropping the blaster to hold his hands up.  
  
She stopped, closed her mouth.  
  
“Your mamá sent me to get you, Auren,” he said, as he moved closer. He didn't hear anyone coming, just shouts from near the explosion. “She told me your code word.”  
  
Then he stopped, could only stare, as he really took her in.  
  
_Oh._  
  
The shape of her nose and her eyes was Jyn, as was the round face. But her eyes themselves were his, and she had his mother’s mouth, the hint of his own cheekbones. He'd forgotten his mother’s features until he saw her ghost in the child before him.  
  
Abruptly, he understood what Jyn had struggled to tell him. Why she'd avoided him while watching him at the same time. The look on her face when she'd said she knew he wasn't looking to be a father.  
  
And it stole his breath.  
  
All this time he'd spent worrying about competing with some phantom love from Jyn's past, and he'd been jealous of himself.  
  
Auren clutched the toy to her chest, dark eyes huge. “Mama found me?” The child sounded hopeful but cautious.   
  
His throat was suddenly dry, his words coming out almost in a croak. “Yes, _nena_. And she's waiting for us. We gotta go.”  
  
She looked to the house, then back to him. Auren blinked those big, dark eyes, took a step towards him.  
  
All at once, she'd crossed the space between them in a dash and thrown herself into his arms. “I want Mama!”  
  
“Soon, little one. Soon.”  
  
Cassian wanted to take the time to just hold her, the daughter he hadn't known he had. Instead, he holstered his dropped blaster and lifted her up, her short, chubby arms around his neck. “Hang on tight, okay?”  
  
She nodded wordlessly.  
  
Suddenly, it was the data tower on Scarif all over again, but this time, the cargo was infinitely more precious to him than anything else.  
  
Into the comms, he said, “Target acquired. Beginning extraction.”  
  
Suddenly, the back door of the big house exploded outwards. In his arms, Auren flinched.  
  
But it was only Jyn. She had a bag slung across her back, her truncheon in her right hand and a blaster in her left. She took the stairs into the garden two at a time.  
  
Auren saw her and squealed, “Mama!”  
  
Jyn was radiant as she reached them, her face more alight than he'd ever seen it, and Cassian, who'd already been teetering on the edge, fell completely in love with her in an instant. “Hi, baby! I told you I'd come back.”  
  
The girl tried to reach for her. Cassian pulled her back. “You can go to Mama in a bit. She needs her hands free.”  
  
The child relented and snuggled back against him. Cassian gave Jyn a significant look. She apparently understood it because she said, “Later. Let's get out of here.”  
  
That was one thing they could definitely agree on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaand your wait is over!


	12. Chapter 12

**\--Chapter Twelve--**  
  
Their race through the lavish garden and towards the front culminated in finding Luke Skywalker, lightsaber in hand, pointing it at the throat of the governor, Baze and Chirrut nearby. There were dead stormtroopers everywhere.  
  
The man’s wife stood beside him, clutching her husband's arm. She cried out when she saw Auren. “They're taking my baby!”  
  
To Cassian's surprise, Auren yelled, “You're not my mama!”  
  
He looked at Jyn, unable to hide his amusement. “She's yours, alright.”  
  
Suddenly, a shadow covered the entire front courtyard and its ridiculous lawn. Everyone looked up and then scattered as the _Millennium Falcon_ came in to land. The ramp lowered and Princess Leia Organa descended.  
  
“I thought we were meeting at the safe house,” Jyn said.  
  
“I guess not,” Cassian said.  
  
Leia marched right up to the governor, though she was a full foot shorter. “Governor Snopps.”  
  
“Princess Leia. There's a price on your head. Why are you and these- these ruffians here to kidnap our daughter, _again_?”  
  
Jyn tried to move forward, but Cassian stopped her.  
  
“She's not your daughter,” Leia said. “She was kidnapped and sold to you. I'm simply rescuing a citizen of Alderaan.”  
  
Cassian said, “Let's get on the ship.”  
  
Snopps looked over at Jyn and Cassian, standing there with Auren. He looked from the girl to them, then back. He said, “Oh. I see.”  
  
“Zafiel, you can't let them take her!”  
  
The man turned his wife to look at the same family. “Look at them, Taalah! She's clearly theirs.”  
  
He came down the front steps and approached. Cassian raised his blaster and pointed it straight at Snopps’s face, the smile falling from his own.  
  
“Touch my daughter and I will kill you where you stand,” he said, voice absolutely devoid of emotion.  
  
The Imperial folded his hands behind his back. He turned a cold look on Jyn, clearly recognising her through the disguise now.   
  
“We were informed she was an orphan when we adopted her. My apologies, Ms Hallik, for having you imprisoned when you came for her last time. I thought it was an attempt on my life.”  
  
“You knew I was after her!” Jyn spat. “I saw her. She knew me and she called for me and you tried to have me sentenced to death!”  
  
“You have me at a disadvantage, in any case. Take the child. I care enough for her that I'll give you a head start.”  
  
“No,” Cassian said. “You won't. Jyn, take Auren to the ship.”  
  
Eyes wide, Jyn scooped Auren out of his arms and ran for the Falcon. The moment she was up the ramp and out of sight, Cassian pulled the trigger.  
  
The man's wife started screaming as Snopps fell with a thump to the blue-green grass.  
  
With no remorse whatsoever, he stepped over the body and went up the ramp, followed by Leia, Luke, and Chirrut. Chewie with his bowcaster and Baze with his cannon were the last to board.  
  
“You didn't need to kill him,” Luke said.  
  
Cassian stopped, turning to look at the boy as the ship lifted off. His voice was ice. “You blew up the Death Star and killed far, far more Imperials than I have in my entire career. You have no right to speak of needful death to me.”  
  
Turning on one boot heel, he stalked down the corridor to the lounge, where he found Jyn sitting near the medical station, Auren on her lap, just holding her.  
  
He knelt beside them. For a moment, all he could do was stare. He had a daughter. How did _he_  have a child?!  
  
“You could have told me,” he said gently, still unable to take his eyes off of Auren. Now that he had the time, he drank in every detail: the dark curls, the smattering of freckles across her skin that was the same tone as his, the arch of her brows that echoed his. The round chin was Jyn’s. But her eyes… Jyn had _told_  him that she had his eyes, hadn't she? He just hadn't listened.  
  
“How?” Jyn asked in a whisper. “How would I have told you?”  
  
Cassian didn't have an answer to that. “She's beautiful.”  
  
Her eyes filled with tears as she looked at their daughter. “Yes. She is.”  
  
Auren looked spooked by everything that had happened, grip tight on her toy. Her eyes searched his face. “Are you really my papa?”  
  
“I am,” he said.  
  
She launched herself off Jyn's lap and into his arms. Muffled against Cassian's neck, she told him, “I missed Mama. I knew they weren't my mama and papa ‘cause I ‘membered Mama. She came and found me but they took her away.”  
  
“I'm here now,” Jyn said. “And no one will ever take you from us again.”  
  
\-----  
  
Baze and Chirrut, on a “prompting from the Force”, had cleared the safe house of all their belongings and had also convinced Han and Bodhi to bring the _Falcon_. It had been splashier than Cassian had wanted, but he'd acknowledged the wisdom of it quickly.  
  
Auren had taken to Cassian immediately, probably because they'd told her he was her father. Everyone else, though, the girl was leery of, so Jyn first disposed of the annoying contact lenses and then had retreated here, to the aft crew cabin, and just held her daughter. After a few minutes, the child had, overwhelmed by everything, begun to cry, and had fallen asleep about the time Jyn had felt the ship make the jump to lightspeed.  
  
She looked up when the door opened and Cassian slipped into the cabin. She lay on her side on the bottom bunk, Auren sound asleep in her arms, a thumb in her mouth and the other small hand fisted in her mother’s shirt.  
  
He stood watching them for a long moment, hesitating, expression open and full of uncertainty. Jyn patted the space beside her, though it wasn't wide. He smiled and removed his boots before stretching out beside her, their child between them.  
  
“Are you mad?” she asked in a whisper. “That I didn't tell you?”  
  
He shook his head, eyes fixed on the little girl. “No. I was… I was upset that you'd never mentioned having a child, but then, what reason did you have to trust me with that until Scarif?”  
  
His rough fingers ghosted over Auren’s hair. His voice was just as soft as hers, just as reluctant to wake their daughter as she. His face was full of wonder, and it made him all the more beautiful to her.  
  
“I thought you'd be angry.”  
  
“I'm not. Not at all. I thought… When you said you had a child, it didn't even occur to me that she could be mine. I thought that I had to compete with some unknown man who'd been in your life.”  
  
She huffed a laugh, though the caution she felt still hurt. “I couldn't figure out how to tell you. I didn't know if you'd want her, want us. When I first told you, you seemed so unhappy. And we still barely know each other, Cassian. How could I just drop that on you?”  
  
He nodded. Finally, he looked from Auren to her. “The moment I saw her, I knew. And I understand.”  
  
“Do you?”  
  
Cassian's expression turned serious. “I do. There wasn't a time or place for you to tell me, before Scarif. We weren't anything to each other then, really. And when we realised we'd met before, we were about to die.”  
  
She snorted. “I debated so much in the lift whether I should tell you before you died, so that you knew about her, or if I should keep it to myself so that you didn't have one more burden. Then Baze found us and you collapsed and… I couldn't tell you right after you came out of the coma, and it just… got harder and harder to say it.”  
  
Again, he nodded. “I understand. Really. And now I know why you looked at me that way, when I said knowing you were Tanith didn't change anything for me. It changed _everything_.”  
  
His hand moved from stroking Auren’s hair to run through her own. She couldn't suppress a shiver at his touch.  
  
“I never considered fatherhood until you told me you had a child,” he said, after several long moments just watching her. “I thought that… you'd only kissed me because we were going to die, and that you wouldn't want me, with the things I've done, as a father figure to your daughter. Why would you want me? I know nothing of children and too much of death.”  
  
She bit her lip, thoughts going back to the way he'd looked at her just before leaning in. “Who else could I possibly want?” she asked him. “Yes, I thought we were going to die, but that's not why I kissed you.”  
  
Something shifted behind his eyes, and Jyn's pulse leapt in response. “And why did you?” Cassian asked, voice turned husky.  
  
“Same reason I did the first time,” she whispered. “Because I wanted to.”  
  
His fingertips stroked along her jaw on their way forward, and he cupped her cheek in one large hand, his thumb brushing over her lips. “Jyn, I haven't been a good man-”  
  
She shook her head. “Don't, Cassian. Don't go there. I think you're good. War is hard, and it puts us all in unfavourable circumstances. We do what we have to.”  
  
“I killed him,” he whispered, “Snopps. And I don't regret it. The others, I do, but not him. He threatened you, and her.”  
  
“You saved me the trouble,” she muttered harshly.  
  
Auren stirred in her arms. Jyn stilled, breath bated, until the child had sunk back into sleep.  
  
“He took her from us, kept her from us,” she told Cassian. “He wanted me dead. And yes, he threatened to come after us. We both know he wouldn't have stopped. You did what was necessary and I don't care.”  
  
She didn't. Jyn would have killed everyone in that kriffing compound if it took that to get Auren back.  
  
With Cassian so close, the resemblance between father and daughter was breathtaking. She hadn't begun to catalogue all the changes in Auren, in the two years she'd missed, but oh, she looked so like him. If he left, if he chose not to be part of this, she would never be able to look at her daughter and not miss him desperately.  
  
His gaze moved to her mouth, and her breath caught. His expression was exactly the same as in the turbolift on Scarif, the way he'd looked at her that had made her tremble more than facing a madman unarmed.  
  
He shifted, leaning forward.  
  
The cabin door opened and Bodhi stuck his head in. “Leia wanted to know- Oh, sorry!”  
  
Disturbed by the noise, Auren woke with a startled cry. Jyn mentally sighed and kissed her forehead. “It's alright, baby,” she murmured. “It's just Uncle Bodhi.”  
  
Bodhi's dark eyes flicked rapidly between the three of them. “I'll, uh… Tell Leia you're busy.”  
  
Cassian groaned as Bodhi left, somewhere between amusement and frustration. “We'll finish this conversation later, yeah?”  
  
“Definitely.”  
  
Auren heaved a sigh the way children do, burrowing closer to Jyn. Cassian watched her for a moment, then folded his arm under his head.  
  
“I don't know about you, but I haven't slept well in days,” he told her.  
  
“Me, either.”  
  
In silent mutual agreement, they settled in. Cassian wrapped his arm around Jyn and Auren, his face close to Jyn's on the pillow. After a moment, she moved her hand from Auren's back to his chest.  
  
Later, she'd reflect that it was some of the best sleep she'd had in years.  
  
\-----  
  
Something jabbing him in the face woke Cassian with a start and a snort of surprise. He blinked in the dark of the cabin and the poke came again. Incongruously, he realised it was a small finger poking his cheek.  
  
“Papa? I haffa go potty.”  
  
It took him a full five seconds for him to remember that she meant _him_. She wanted _him_  to help her to the ‘fresher? Jyn would make more sense. But then, he _was_  in her way.  
  
“Alright, _nena_.”  
  
Cassian rolled off the bunk and lifted Auren in his arms. The refresher (or as Han called it, the head), was right next door, and fortunately unoccupied then. With the number of people aboard, it was actually fairly good odds that someone would be in there at any given time.  
  
He tried not to think about the flight to Scarif, with over twenty men, one woman, and a droid crammed into a cargo shuttle with one minuscule ‘fresher for nearly two days.  
  
The toilet, he quickly realised, was too high up for her to reach by herself, sized as it was for tall men and a two-plus-metre Wookiee. Cassian had never felt more awkward in his life than he did in helping his five-year-old daughter, who he'd only known a number of hours, up to the toilet so she could pee.  
  
He tactfully looked elsewhere as she did her business, some flimsi in his hand waiting because she couldn't reach that, either.  
  
“You talk funny,” Auren said, apropos of nothing.  
  
Cassian supposed that to her, he would sound odd. Her own accent was perfectly Imperial, like Jyn's. “I do, huh? That's because I’m from Fest.”  
  
“Where zat?”  
  
“A very long way from here. It's a very cold planet, covered in snow.”  
  
She waggled a hand for the flimsi and he passed it over. When she was done, she hopped down and flushed. He had to help her up again to wash her hands.  
  
He made a note to equip their house with step stools. And yes, there would be a house, he decided. Like he'd known he would follow Jyn to Scarif and to certain death, he knew, too, that this was what happened next. It felt right.  
  
“Papa?”  
  
“Yes, _pequeña_?”  
  
She blinked up at him. “What's that mean?”  
  
“It means ‘little one’.”  
  
“Oh. Why were you gone?”  
  
Cassian scooped her back up to carry her back to the cabin. “Gone?”  
  
“Before. When it was me and Mama.”  
  
Before she was taken, he took that to mean. “My work used to take me away for a long time. Sometimes a very long time.”  
  
“What's your work?”  
  
Cassian paused in the corridor, trying to find the words. He couldn't tell her the truth, but lying outright felt wrong. “There are bad people out there. Like the ones who took you from your mamá-”  
  
“An’ the people who said they were my mama and papa!” Auren chimed in. “I ‘membered Mama always.”  
  
“I guess they were bad people, too.” He wasn't going to tell her he'd shot Zafiel Snopps in the face and taken most of the man’s head off. “But it was my job to stop bad people from hurting other people, to find them and make them stop.”  
  
She scrunched up her face. “Like time out?”  
  
He had a vague recollection of the concept. He'd only been a little older than her when he'd lost his own papá, and his mother… “Sort of.”  
  
“Oh.”  
  
Cassian was relieved that she seemed to accept that and abandoned the line of questioning. Then she asked, “You said usedta. Are you gonna live with me and Mama now?”  
  
“I hope so, _nena_.”  
  
“What's that mean?”  
  
“It means you're my girl.” He ran his fingers through her dark curls, heart suddenly aching for everything he'd missed. He had so many questions for Jyn. There were no baby holos, nothing. Just the lock of hair Jyn had managed to keep in that locket.  
  
Auren reached up and touched his face, pushing at his frown with her fingers. “Don't be sad, Papa.”  
  
“I'm not. I'm actually very happy. Let's get you back to bed, huh?”  
  
Jyn stirred as Auren dove into the bunk and burrowed up next to her. Cassian was a little more reserved in his approach.  
  
“Refresher,” he said, when Jyn gave him a sleepy, quizzical look.  
  
“Ah. Be glad you missed the diaper changes.”  
  
He reached over Auren to touch Jyn's arm. “I'm not,” he whispered. “I wish I'd been there. And I'll be here for the rest of it. I said I was with you all the way. I still mean that.”  
  
She reached up and caught his hand, but didn't speak.  
  
Auren rolled over, wiggling until she faced him, and grabbed the front of his shirt like she had her mother's earlier, eyes closed and thumb firmly in her mouth. It floored him that she had so readily accepted him.  
  
“You're thinking awfully hard, there,” Jyn observed in a whisper.  
  
“I don't deserve this, Jyn,” he said. “Not you, not her.”  
  
“Hey. None of that. Who you were doesn't matter. Who you are from here does.”  
  
Cassian nodded. It still overwhelmed him. He'd gone in such a short time from being ready to die, knowing he had nothing and no one save her at his side as certain death approached, to having a child, a flesh and blood extension of himself that mucked around in the dirt wearing expensive dresses and swore in Huttese at nanny droids.  
  
“I never thought-”  
  
And trying to voice it, he understood also why Jyn had struggled to tell him. The reality of Auren was sublime.  
  
_Mine_ , he thought, as he traced the curve of one small ear. _I made this, Jyn and I_.  
  
“Jyn, I …”  
  
She shook her head. “We'll talk in the morning, Cassian. Go back to sleep.”  
  
He sighed. “Yeah. Yeah. Okay.”  
  
But he fell asleep with her hand in his, and for once, he didn't have nightmares. 


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, guys, just one more chapter after this. But I'm working on a sequel as fast as I can.

**\--Chapter Thirteen--**  
  
Cassian was already up and gone when Jyn woke. Auren was also absent. She rose, swiped on some deodorant because she knew the chances of a shower on this flying crate were nil, and went to find her little family.  
  
Baze and Chirrut had shared their cabin, though Jyn had only been vaguely aware of their presence on the upper bunks. They had also risen before her, and sat at the dejarik table with Cassian, who had Auren on his lap.  
  
Jyn stood in the doorway and just watched them for several moments, her chest tight. To think that they very nearly hadn't had this. That Cassian had nearly never known she existed.  
  
He looked up and saw her, smiling over their daughter's head. “Good morning,” he said.  
  
“Jyn, come join us!” Chirrut called.  
  
Baze scooted over to make more room in the booth, Chirrut sliding his way. Cassian moved towards the middle and Jyn settled in at the end. Auren immediately, and awkwardly, crawled into her mother's lap.  
  
“We tried to wake you,” Cassian explained. “But you must have been very tired.”  
  
“Exhausted,” Jyn admitted. “I haven't had a good night of sleep in quite a while.”  
  
Auren tried to wiggle between her parents and settled for sitting half on Jyn's lap, half on Cassian's.  
  
Bodhi shuffled in, scratching his head as he yawned. “Morning,” he mumbled.  
  
Auren tensed in Jyn’s grasp.  
  
“It’s alright,” she told her daughter. “This is Bodhi. Bodhi, I’d like you to meet my daughter, Auren.”  
  
Bodhi blinked. Then he smiled. “Hello.”  
  
“Hi,” Auren said shyly.  
  
The pilot grabbed some caf and then dropped into the chair at the tech station. He watched them with sleepy eyes and a deepening frown.  
  
“What?” Jyn asked finally.  
  
“Nothing,” he said quickly. “It’s nothing.”  
  
“Speak your mind,” Chirrut prompted.  
  
Bodhi stalled by sipping at his caf. Then, very hesitantly, he said, “It’s only that, uh… She certainly looks like Cassian, doesn’t she?”  
  
“She should,” Cassian said mildly. “She’s my daughter.”  
  
The pilot nearly dropped his mug. “Wait, what?” He looked rapidly between them. “What? But- You just met a couple weeks ago. How…?”  
  
Jyn glanced at Cassian, not bothering to hide her smile. “No, we met six years ago. Except he was undercover as…”  
  
“Castor Willix,” Cassian supplied. “Except I called myself Jeron.”  
  
“And I was Tanith Ponta. And he was clean-shaven and baby-faced and had long hair, so when I met _Cassian Andor_ , I didn’t recognise him.”  
  
Bodhi snorted. “Which is why you told me it was complicated,” he said, nodding. “I get it. Wow. Did you know?” he asked Cassian.  
  
“Not until yesterday,” the captain admitted.  
  
“It's been… difficult,” Jyn said lamely. “To come up with the words.”  
  
Leia joined them then, dressed in her ubiquitous white, hair in a low coil at the back of her neck. She had fetched the pot of caf from the galley and carried several mugs, putting it all on the dejarik table.  
  
“Well,” she said, looking and sounding as tired as Jyn, “yesterday went well, Captain Andor’s tantrum aside.”  
  
Cassian, leaning into Jyn, just shrugged. He hooked a finger in the handle of a mug and pulled it over so he could fill it with the dark, bitter brew. After he handed it to Jyn, he filled another for himself. Jyn couldn't help a little thrill and an uncertain flutter in her stomach at how… couple-y it seemed.  
  
Leia’s dark eyes flicked to Auren, then she poured herself some caf. “I already contacted the Alliance, after the three of you retired. We're going to rendezvous with _Home One_ near Mimban. Han says we should be there in about seven more hours.”  
  
“Alright.” Jyn sipped her caf. “Thank you, all of you, for your help.”  
  
“Of course,” Baze said. He and Chirrut had mugs, but it didn't look like they had caf. “What else is family for?”  
  
Jyn wondered briefly why the _Falcon_ had so many mugs in its galley. She smiled at the Guardians. Even though he was blind, Chirrut somehow knew to smile back.  
  
“Do you know what you'll do when we get back?” Leia asked.  
  
Jyn glanced at Cassian, but his face was unreadable. “We haven't discussed it yet. But I was thinking… I'd like to settle somewhere. I don't want Auren raised the way Cassian and I were. She's seen enough.”  
  
He wrapped his arms around her shoulders, letting his fingers play over her upper arm. Jyn hadn't been comfortable with people, with physical affection, since she'd lost her mother. But with Cassian, it just felt natural.  
  
Leia watched for a moment, smiling to herself. “Captain?” she asked.  
  
“I need to talk to Draven about some things,” was all he said on the subject.  
  
Jyn was grateful for that right then. If he wanted to stay and she wanted to leave, she didn't want to learn that with an audience.  
  
She kissed the top of Auren's head as the girl leaned heavily into her. “Are you hungry?” she asked. “I don't know what we have on board, but I can find you something.”  
  
Bodhi stood, saying, “I'll do it.”  
  
“Oh, you don't have to,” Jyn began, but he waved it off.  
  
“You're the one that told me you burn water,” he said, with an unsteady smile. “And we need more caf. I'll put a new pot on.”  
  
“‘Burn water’?” Cassian inquired, amusement ringing his voice.  
  
“Saw wasn't big on teaching domestic things,” Jyn told him. “Nearly everything we ate was roasted wild animals or ration packs or the rare purchased food. I didn't learn to actually cook anything until I had Auren, here.”  
  
The little girl said, “Mama made fire in the kitchen. Auntie Neela made food a lot.”  
  
“You remember that?” her mother asked. “You were only two.”  
  
“It was big,” Auren said, completely deadpan.  
  
Baze grinned broadly. “For someone who has only just met you, Captain Andor, she's certainly very like you.”  
  
“You haven't heard her swear,” Cassian said.  
  
“So …” Leia looked between them. “There's definitely a story here.”  
  
“Remember how I told you her father’s name was Jeron?” Jyn asked.  
  
The princess nodded.  
  
Cassian lifted his mug to his mouth, swallowed, and said, “Cassian Jeron Andor.”  
  
Leia snorted, not looking at all surprised. “Right. Of course. What are the odds of that? You meeting six years ago, and then he just happens to be the one who tracks you down?”  
  
From the corner, her gold-plated protocol droid said, “Princess Leia, the odds are-”  
  
“Shut up, Threepio,” Leia said.  
  
“Yes, Your Highness.”  
  
Auren squirmed into Jyn's lap, her full attention on Leia. “Princess?” she chirped.  
  
“Yes,” Leia said, and her whole countenance softened. “I'm Princess Leia Organa of Alderaan.”  
  
“I was born on Alderaan!”  
  
“I know. Your mama told me.” The princess smiled wistfully. “Do you remember Alderaan?”  
  
Auren frowned and kicked her legs. Jyn winced when her heels collided with her shins. “Don't do that, baby,” she murmured. “It hurts.”  
  
“Sorry, Mama!” To Leia, Auren said, “No? Maybe? I ‘member … cold, and … a lady in a blue dress. She had dark hair, with a…” The child patted the top of her own head. “Blue thing. Bree!”  
  
“Bree?” Leia echoed, looking confused.  
  
Jyn licked her lips. “I think she means… Queen Breha. Your mother.”  
  
“How would she know my mother?” Leia demanded, looking utterly dumbfounded.  
  
“She visited the hospital sometimes,” Jyn told the princess. “We were a charity case. I had no money, and Auren was small and sick. She was, oh, four or five months old before I could take her home. Your mother visited us at the hospital, and a time or two after. The last was just a week or so before we left Alderaan. Auren was only twelve months old, I think. I have no idea how she remembers.”  
  
The princess opened and closed her mouth a few times, then shook her head. “Why didn't you tell me before?”  
  
“Because… I didn't want to add to your pain. I didn't know if you'd believe me. And there's the fact that if not for my father, your parents might still be alive.” Jyn ran her fingers absently through her daughter's hair. “I was going to tell you eventually. When the dust had settled a bit.”  
  
Leia sighed heavily. “I don't blame your father for Alderaan, Jyn. We all know they'd have built it without him, and it wouldn't have had the flaw your father built into it. But you're right. I might not have believed you before. I've had a lot of people who didn't know my parents try to talk about them. It gets tiring. But sometime, I think I'd like to talk to you about her.”  
  
“Any time.” Jyn nodded. “I liked her. She was a very nice woman.”  
  
Leia nodded. “She was the best.”  
  
Auren climbed out of Jyn's lap and dropped to the floor. She went to Leia and offered the young woman her toy. “You look sad. Mog helps me when I'm sad. You can hold him.”  
  
Leia took the toy carefully, examining the handmade thing. “Thank you. I'll give him back in a minute.”  
  
Jyn leaned into Cassian and whispered, “I don't think she got that from either of us.”  
  
He snorted.  
  
On the other side of him, Chirrut laughed.  
  
Bodhi came in then with a pile of griddle cakes. Lured by the smell of food, Han and Luke finally joined the group. To make room, Jyn hauled Auren back into her lap.  
  
She couldn't put words to how good it felt to have her little girl back. Jyn hadn't let herself hope for it, not really, since she'd been arrested. But here she was.  
  
Jyn glanced at Cassian out of the corner of her eye as she helped Auren with her food. He'd given her their daughter in the first place, then brought her back to her. She owed him so much.  
  
He turned her way, caught her looking at him. “What?” he asked.  
  
“Nothing.” She smiled a little. “Nothing at all.”  
  
\-----  
  
After breakfast, Jyn took Auren to change her out of the ruffled pink dress she still wore. Cassian stayed at the dejarik table, reflecting on what a drastic left turn his life had suddenly taken.  
  
He was a father.  
  
He knew Jyn thought he didn't want to be involved. She'd said as much in the safe house, before they'd gone to get Auren. He'd had doubts about whether he could, or should, until the moment he'd seen her. Now, there were two things he knew with absolute certainty.  
  
One, he loved Jyn Erso to distraction.  
  
Two, he wanted to be part of his daughter’s life.  
  
Cassian had already decided before all of this that he was done with his intelligence work. And with Jyn telling the others she wasn't staying with the Rebellion, that left just one choice. It was scary, but so had been infiltrating the Citadel on Scarif.  
  
He didn't get a chance to talk to Jyn before they met up with _Home One_ near Mimban. She took Auren off to the medbay to have her checked out, and he went to have a word with Mon Mothma and General Draven.  
  
When he finally tracked Jyn down, he found her near a play area for the children of the Alliance members. Fraternising was frowned upon but things happened. And not everyone who came to the Rebellion left their families behind. Jyn stood with a mug of caf, leaning against the wall, watching Auren run around. Mog was tucked under Jyn's arm.  
  
She didn't look like the warrior goddess he'd sort of envisioned her as after the fight on Jedha. She looked like a mother. The mother of his child.  
  
“She looks like she's having fun,” he commented as he stopped beside her.  
  
Jyn glanced his way briefly, but her gaze was quickly drawn back to Auren. “She's so resilient. Two years with strangers, and she's bouncing around in there with the other kids like it never happened.”  
  
“She takes after you,” he said.  
  
“Kriff, I hope not. I don't want her to be like me. I'm too angry, too hard.”  
  
“No, you're not.” He lightly touched her shoulder, and when she didn't resist, he slid that arm around her.  
  
She leaned into him, trying to let go of her fears. “It breaks my heart to think you were just a little older than her,” she told him. “She's so small. How could anyone do that to a child? I just want to keep her safe, Cassian, but I’ve already failed once.”  
  
“We'll do it together.”  
  
Jyn shifted to look up at him, green eyes uncertain. “You sure you want this?” she asked softly. “Me, who doesn't trust people, and a hyperactive five-year-old?”  
  
He reached to tuck a lock of brown hair behind her ear. “More than anything else, Jyn, yes.”  
  
“What about the Rebellion?”  
  
“Mm. Several of the defectors are former Imperial Intelligence, including one Crix Madine. Draven actually knows him from before. And Leia's got a friend who'd like to join Acquisitions.”  
  
Jyn frowned. “What does that have to do with anything?”  
  
“It means that I've put in for retirement. I can't do it anymore. I've done too much killing. I need to live now. With you.”  
  
She turned in his arms to fully face him. “You're not joking, are you?”  
  
“No, I'm not. I want everything, Jyn. Sometime between Jedha and here, I fell in love with you. And I already adore that little girl. Our daughter. I already missed the first five years. I won't miss the rest.”  
  
“Cassian.” Her eyes were suspiciously wet. “You have to be serious about this. I can't- I can't have you leave me, too. You need to be with me on this.”  
  
“All the way,” Cassian reminded her. He raised his hands to cradle her face in them. “Marry me, Jyn.”  
  
She opened her mouth, eyes huge in her heart-shaped face-  
  
“Papa!”  
  
Auren slammed into their legs, latching onto Cassian like a starving mynock. “Come play!”  
  
He broke eye contact with Jyn to look down at the sprite with dark curls attempting to climb his leg. “In a minute, _nena_ , I'm talking to your mamá.”  
  
Jyn reached up to touch his cheek. “Go play with her, Cassian. These are the important moments. We can discuss this properly at dinner.”  
  
He let Auren drag him towards the play area, wondering just what he was getting into. “I'll hold you to that!”  
  
She just smiled in reply.


	14. Chapter 14

**\--Chapter Fourteen--**  
  
Auren played until she wore herself out, and Cassian carried her back to what had become their quarters. Jyn put the little girl down for a nap, tucking her into bed with Mog.  
  
As she stood watching her daughter sleep, Cassian wrapped his arms around her from behind. Jyn let herself lean into him.  
  
“I wish I'd been there,” he told her quietly. “But I know that… I probably wouldn't have been around much, anyway.”  
  
She turned in his arms. “I don't blame you for not being there. I'm the one who ran. We didn't even know each other. And even if you'd been around, we were very different people then.”  
  
He made a sound of amusement, not quite a laugh. “Very true.”  
  
“I never considered not keeping her,” she told him. “I was terrified, but she was _mine_. When they took her from me…”  
  
Jyn trailed off and swallowed hard. “It was worse than when my mother died. When Papa died. I wanted to kill everyone in my way.”  
  
Cassian curved his hand around the back of her neck. “I'm glad we didn't know on Eadu.”  
  
She sighed, flattening her hand on his chest. “That would have been bad,” she agreed. “I don't blame you for that, Cassian. I know it was Draven. And I told him exactly what I thought about that.”  
  
One corner of his mouth curled up. “I wondered why he acted so strangely when I told him about Auren.”  
  
“You told him?”  
  
He nodded. “I updated my personnel file to include you and her.”  
  
“But you're retiring, aren't you?”  
  
“It's not an immediate thing. I need to hand off my contacts, and there are other things to do. But no more missions.”  
  
“Good.”  
  
“About earlier-”  
  
She smiled, shaking her head. “It's not dinner yet, Captain.”  
  
“You like tormenting me, don't you?”  
  
Jyn chuckled. “A little.”  
  
He heaved an exaggerated sigh. “Jyn, what am I to do with you?”  
  
She curled her fingers into his shirt, licked her lips as she stared up at him. “You could kiss me.”  
  
His gaze dropped to her mouth. Without a word, he dipped his head, slanting his mouth over hers. His arm around her tightened, holding her close. Jyn looped her arms around his neck as she kissed him back.  
  
This time, there were no grievous injuries to interfere, no impending doom on the horizon. Jyn was still aware of their daughter sleeping just feet away, but only barely. Being properly and thoroughly kissed, finally, consumed nearly every sense. He slid his fingers up, into her hair, dislodging the bun so that it came partially undone. She didn't care.  
  
Until the door chimed.  
  
Cassian broke the kiss with a muttered Festian curse, and Jyn laughed breathlessly as he pulled away to answer it. He kissed much better when in perfect health. It was enough to completely scramble her.  
  
“Chancellor Mothma requests Sergeant Erso’s presence,” the Bothan aide at the door said. Her eyes went to Jyn's dishevelled hair but she didn't comment.  
  
Jyn cleared her throat and started fixing her hair. “Of course,” she said.  
  
The aide imparted instructions on reaching Mon Mothma’s office and left. Cassian shut the door and eyed her.  
  
“One of these days,” he said, “I'm going to kiss you without interruption.”  
  
She smiled wryly. “The last time you did that, we ended up with a five year old.”  
  
His answering smirk did fluttery things to her stomach. “I'd better see what Mothma wants,” she said on a rush of breath, and fled.  
  
\-----  
  
The chancellor of the Alliance to Restore The Republic--a pompous name if Jyn had ever heard one--waited in her office, in yet another white robe outfit. Jyn wondered vaguely as she was ushered in by the woman’s aide if Mothma owned anything else, or if her entire closet was nothing but identical white dresses.  
  
She herself basically much owned what she presently wore. Auren had more clothes than Jyn did.  
  
“Thank you for joining me,” Mothma said. “I won't keep you long, I know you’d like to get back to your daughter. Please, have a seat.”  
  
The chair Jyn sat in was comfortable, if oddly shaped, clearly of Mon Cala design. “What did you want to see me about?”  
  
“Before we evacuated Yavin, I asked if you would be joining us officially. You said you needed to discuss the matter with Captain Andor. General Draven has informed me that as of this afternoon, the captain has submitted a request for retirement. I presume, given that he also amended his file to include you and your daughter as his next of kin, that you won't be joining us.”  
  
Shaking her head, Jyn said, “No. I can't raise my daughter here.”  
  
“That is perfectly understandable.” Mothma smiled sympathetically. “What do you plan to do?”  
  
“Cassian and I haven't really decided yet,” she admitted. “He says that it'll be a few weeks before we can leave. After than, I don't know.”  
  
The copper-haired woman tipped her head. “I'm curious. I was under the impression that you and Captain Andor hadn't met before you were extracted from Wobani. You certainly gave no indication of it at that meeting. But he is your daughter's father?”  
  
Nodding, Jyn said, “Yes. It's a long story. We met a little more than six years ago, both under assumed names. I genuinely had no idea who Cassian was until recently.”  
  
“I see. That makes General Draven’s actions concerning your father all the more unfortunate. My apologies, Jyn, for our part in that. I know we cannot begin to make it up to you, but I would like to do something for you.”  
  
She shrugged. “Other than a way to leave, I don't really know what you could do for us. I'm not angry at Cassian over it, but I… don't believe I could stay, even if I didn't have Auren to worry about, because of what Draven did to my father. I didn't go to Scarif for the Rebellion, not completely. I went because it needed to be done and because it was my father's dying wish.”  
  
“Of course.” Mothma’s blue eyes regarded her thoughtfully. “I was planning, originally, on offering you pay and transport to the destination of your choice. Given everything that's happened since, I believe that we owe you quite a bit more than that. As Captain Andor's retirement will take some time to complete, let me see what I can do in the meantime.”  
  
“Thank you,” Jyn said, a little stiffly.  
  
Mothma stood. “I won't keep you any longer. But I would like to meet your daughter at some point.”  
  
“Alright.”  
  
“Weeko will see you back to your quarters.”  
  
The Bothan female waiting by the door guided Jyn back through the ship and deposited her at Cassian's cabin. Letting herself in, Jyn found Auren up from her brief nap, and the two of them waiting for her by a table set for three. It wasn't fancy, but the food was better than the standard fare. She wondered where Cassian had got it in the short time she'd been gone.  
  
“Oh,” she said. “This is nice!”  
  
“I have my ways,” he said.  
  
Auren was already seated, boosted up by a stack of folded clothes so she could reach the table. Jyn let Cassian hold her chair for her.  
  
“What did Mothma want?” he asked, as he handed her a glass of wine he'd dug up somewhere. Auren had a clear plasteel tumbler of just a bit of blue milk. He'd obviously been paying attention to how Jyn fed her.  
  
“To know if I'm leaving with you. To ask about how you're Auren's father. To offer me lots of money and possibly a ship.”  
  
He arched a brow as he sat. “Wow.”  
  
“She wanted to know what we plan on doing when we leave. I didn't know what to tell her. What _will_  we do?”  
  
Cassian watched Auren use her fork to spear a small, pre-cut chunk of bantha meat. “I don't know. I hadn't got that far. I want… a house. I don't know where. I don't know if I can completely leave the Rebellion behind. If nothing else, I'll keep tapped into my network and pass along information. Maybe recruit here and there.”  
  
“That doesn't surprise me,” Jyn told him wryly. “But that won't keep us fed.”  
  
He smiled and shook his head. “No. That's why I've put out feelers for work. If Mothma gives us a ship, we could live there for a time until we find a place to settle.”  
  
“You're completely sure about all this?”  
  
Cassian nodded solemnly. “I mean it. I'm tired, Jyn. I want to live, with you and with our daughter.”  
  
She reached over and laid her hand on his. “So do I. Yes.”  
  
He blinked. “Yes?”  
  
“Yes, I'll marry you. Of course I will.”  
  
Grinning more broadly than she'd ever seen, Cassian leaned over to kiss her again.  
  
“Ew!” Auren put in. “Kissing is gross!”  
  
Jyn laughed against Cassian's lips. “Eat your dinner.”  
  
Auren sighed. “Yes, Mama.”  
  
He rested his forehead against hers. “I love you.”  
  
“I love you, too,” she whispered.  
  
At that moment, Auren dropped her glass and spilled milk on the table. Jyn gave Cassian a sardonic look.  
  
“This is parenthood,” she told him. “You _sure_  you're with me?”  
  
“All the way.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we are, at the end of this piece. But don't worry, there's a sequel in the works! I'm not sure when I'll start posting it, as it's nowhere near finished (it'll definitely be longer than this one, though, I can tell you that).
> 
> Thanks so much to all my wonderful readers. I can honestly say I've never seen so many of you in one place before! In my 20+ years of writing fanfic, I haven't had a response anywhere near as big as this, and I am absolutely stunned by it. So thank you for sticking with this, even through the frustration!
> 
> And for anyone wondering about what Auren looks like, I made this: https://imgur.com/a/2kyzx


End file.
